Right, so what a lot of you (or all of you) won't know is that I've been blogging since 2004. Unfortunately and absolutely idiotically, I deleted my 04-05 blog at the start of 06. It was on my original MSN Space and I thoroughly regret deleting it. However, I just stumbled upon my new but still very old MSN Space and it has lots of blogs on it, dating back to 06. So I decided that I'm going to post them here, in chronological order. Not all in one go coz that will take ages, but with every new blog I will post a month's worth of old blogs.. So am gonna start now. Enjoy my retarded 15 year old self!
25 March 2006
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
New space. That is all.
26 March 2006
It is illegal to be a prostitute in Italy if your name is Mary.
I ate a bourbon biscuit and now I feel sick
28 March 2006
55.2% of us will let someone else come in the bathroom while we're using the toilet.
Argh! Isn't it like the law then when you turn an ice tray upside down no ice at all will come out? Well yes it is. So when I turned the ice tray upside down, I just automatically assumed zilch ice cubes would fall out. But oh no, every leetle piece of ice had to fall out of the ice tray all over the floor.
Anyway, just got back from leaning on tramps (trampolining) avec Becca, Lnr and Saz. It was really fun and I did a somersault *yay me*. But I am annoyed coz there is another girl there called Jocelyn, which is SO unfair because that is MY name that belongs to ME and she can't have it. *Childish pokey out tongue face*. It's weird coz it's the first time I have ever met someone else with my name, but I haven't actually MET her coz I refuse to talk to her because she is a chav and I can't communicate with them.
Today I found out what bolus means: Lump of food in your stomach. Which does NOT take the fabbness of the word away, so me and Becci wrote a song about a bolus. It is not relevant to a lump of food in your stomach though. I'll post it on here tomorrow so you can gaze in awe at his wonderness. Hem hem. . .
Aaaanyway yay we break up on Friday luncheons time! Easter hols are gonna be a-rockin' my stockin's. On Wednesday we (Becca, Lnr, Saz and moi) are going to Romford avec Becci and Nici pour their birthday (they are twins) and we are gonna go to Primark and buy MAHOOSIVE knickers and all get into them and walk around the shops like that! Teeheehee! OOOoooh and I am going to Camden at some point.
Anyways I was thinking about getting a couple of tattoos, which is odd bearing in mind I have absolutely hated them since about one day ago. I wanted a black heart on my right hand middle finger like Billie Joe, and a black star kinda by the base of my right thumb like Matt ex Busted. But then when I told my mutti she went mental and said I could get a blood diseases thingamajuggerer so I decided not to. So instead, I have drawn on the tattoos I want in eyeliner and covered them avec clear nail varnish so they stay on, and it looks fab fab fabbity fab.
Aaaanyway note to self: Look up aaaanyway en Francais. Anyway bon nuit!
29 March 2006
Identity crisis? Around 10% of Jewish households have Christmas trees.
Oh my golly goshness.
I FULLY sat in chewing gum today. Seriously. There was so much of the damn stuff on my skirt that I dunno how the person got it all in their mouth. Anyway I went to the student office and they said there was some remover in the toilet, so I went in avec Lnr, Becci and Nicole. We found the stuff and I was like "Just pour it all on!" But Lnr was all reading the instructions. Typical. Anyways eventually she poured a load on and it wouldn't come off, so I read the instructions and it said you have to rub with a damp cloth, shows how good Lnr is at reading eh? Anyway while all this was happening, I was in absolutamondo hystericness, with my skirt round the wrong way, and there was this girl lying on the sick bed looking a bit miffed at the amount of noise we were making. Ya but the thing is, the stuff wouldnt come off, so Lnr said that she would go out and I had to take my skirt off and clean it avec towel, but I didn't want to so I started screaming. A lot. And it was like one of those pully towel thingys so I couldn't reach my skirt to it while I was wearing it, so Becci FULLY sneaked into the resource cupboard and stole a towel!! Twenty five minutes later all the gum was off, so we went back into the playground and then the bell went. TYPICAL. And then we had this PSE thing in which a police came in to teach us the danger of railways, and he told us that Brentwood is in the top ten for amount of rail death. And over 40 people from my school have walked on the tracks at Bwood station. And the policeman told us loads of stories of gross stuff happening on tracks, like a 4 year old having a hole blasted through his chest because of the current, and a 7 year old have his spine shocked to the front of his body, and a man in 167 pieces spread over 3 miles of railway. And then he showed us photos. And Nick looked all ill. I'm gonna stop right there before I make you all barf.
ONLY ONE MORE FULL DAY OF SCHOOL!!
30 March 2006
2,500 newborn babies will be dropped in the next month
Bolus poem, written during Science by Becci et moi. You may notice that we got some inspiration from the Emo Song.
He's a bolus kid
He don't know what to wear
He has bolus teeth
And puts bolus in his haiR
He has bolus friends
And a bolus for a mum
And when he writes "burn"
It looks like "bum"
He has bolus eyes
And a bolus up his nose
And when he bends over
He can touch his bolus toes
He's a bolus kid
And he rides a bolus bike
Coz a bolus is one step below
BOLUSVESTITE!
He has a bolus room
Where he sleeps all night
Coz he's a bolus kid
Who sits up right
He's a bolus rapist
And he rapes a bolus cow
The cow says "moo"
And the bolus says "ow"
He has some bolus chickens
And a bolus house
He's a bolus kid
With a pet bolus mouse
There's a bolus on his knee
And a bolus on his head
BANG!
The bolus kid is dead.
At the bus stop this morning, my little brother's idiot of a friend chucked a snail in the road. Luckily, it was in the middle of all the cars' wheels, but it started moving. And I didn't want it to die. So I forced the stupid imbecile into the road to pick up the snail to save it. And then I went along the roadside picking up every single snail to make sure they didn't go into the road. I am a hero. Yay me. Oh and I imploded a coke can at lunchtime.
Aaaanyway, that is the last full day of school done for two weeks. Just got half a day tomorrow. It's really stupid coz we only have one lesson then a really long assembly
31 March 2006
Raping-A-Ham
1.Name a friend whose name starts with the letter "A"?
Alex
2. Now name something that reminds you of that person.
Salsa
3. What's your worst fear?
I die before moshing at the front of a Green Day concert
4.Were you a lego-maniac when you were little?
No
5. What do you think of "reality" TV?
Th stuff for charity is ok but the ones where members of the public just want to be on tv to get famous is ridiculous.
6. Do you chew on straws?
Yes, doesn't everyone?!
7.Do you have curly hair?
Ya but it's normally straightened.
8. What is the next concert you're going to?
Maximo Park in October but I might go to see Chilli Peppers in the Summer if I can get tix.
9. What colour is your keyboard?
Black and silver.
10.Who is number one on your friends list?
Erm well I have 3, Lnr, Becca + Saz.
11.Who is your favourite cartoon character?
Patrick Star from SpongeBob.
12.What colour is your car?
Dark blue
13.What CD can you listen to the whole way through?
Erm my playlist is on random, coz I hate listening to just one CD, but I always used to put my Busted albums on repeat.
14.Funniest thing you've heard in the past 72 hours?
"There's this really ugly girl at swimming but you should see her mother, it gets worse!"--Nici
15. Can you swim?
Ya
16. Have you seen the film Donnie Darko?
Come again?
17.Do you have to work tomorrow?
No
18. Any bumper sticks on your car?
No, so immature. *mutters*
19. Can you sing the alphabet backwards?
Indeed I can
20. Have you ever been on an aeroplane?
Ya
21. Are you an only child?
No, little brother.
22. Do you prefer an electric or manual pencil sharpener?
Electric, can't be bothered with manual ones.
23. What's your stand on hunting?
Hunters should go have their heads flushed.
24. Is marriage in your future?
Doubt it.
25. Do you like your handwriting?
It's ok.
26.Last fruit eaten?
Passion fruit.
27. When was the last time you said "I love you" and meant it?
To my mutti :)
28. Is Elvis still alive?
Hope not. His dress sense was rather tragic.
29. Do you cry at weddings?
Hell no.
30.What should you be doing right now?
Practising geeetar.
31. Are blondes dumb?
No, except Lnr :P
32. Where does the other sock end up?
The damn washing machine eats it. Or under my bed. . .
33.Do you have a crush right now?
No.
34. Do you have a nickname?
Ya loads.
35. Last TV show you watched?
Futurama. No wait Simpsons.
36. When was the last time your were in a car?
At about 3pm.
37. Do you prefer baths or showers?
Baths in winter, showers in summer.
38. Is Santa Clause real?
Yes! No you freak of course he's not. . .or parents are liars.
39. Would you like to dance with me?
No I don't do dancing, just headbanging :P
40. Are you afraid of the dark?
No.
41.Who's the youngest one in your family
Jake.
42. Crunchy or creamy peanut butter?
Crunchy.
43. Can you crack your neck?
Rather not. . .
44. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Ya.
46. Is drug free the way to be?
Definitely.
47. Are you a heavy sleeper?
Depends.
48. What colour are your eyes?
Hazel.
50. Do you like your life?
Sometimes.
51. Is your name Alan?
If it is, no one told me about it. . .
52. Are you psycic?
I have psycic moments,
53. Have you read "Catcher In The Rye" ?
No but it is mentioned in the Emo Song.
54.Favourite board game?
I ahte all board games.
55. Do you shop at American Eagle?
Where?
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