Fanfuckingtastic.

It's hardly a secret to everyone that ever since November 17th 2008 I have been set on going to Warwick Uni to do Theatre and Performance Studies.
I knew that the open day is on May 9th for months and have been looking forward to it for ages. The booking form opened on Monday. This week has been extremely hectic for me as I have had all in all over 12 hours of drama rehearsals for my AS and that along with my parents being busy at different times we haven't all been in the house at the same time, unoccupied for long enough to discuss and book times and sessions for the open day. But this evening we're all here and we're all free. But low and fucking behold, the sessions I wanted to visit are all booked up.
So I start crying and my parents ask what's wrong so I tell them and all I get from them is a go had at me because apparently I procrastinate and don't have my priorities right. I really resent the fact that they are saying this to me because yes, I procrastinate but COME ON. They out of everyone know how badly I want to go to Warwick so how can they actually think that I'd rather go on fucking Facebook than fill out the form? I thought they knew how much it means to me. It's fine for them to tell ME I've been busy doing other stuff, but they can hardly say that they haven't been doing other stuff too. They're the ones that wanted to come with me so of course I had to wait till we were all in the same place at the same time till I could book it.

And even if I did have the chance to book sooner and get my place, do they really think telling me off for crying about it is the way to deal with it? They tell me that I'm immature ("You've run out of time to act like a child" to quote my dad) and that I'm being pathetic, but how is that going to help? They know how much I was looking forward to going, they know that this was what was motivating me and what I had my hopes set on. They can clearly see how gutted I am about this and they still persist at shouting at me for my reaction. What do they want me to do? Laugh it off and say I'm fine with waiting till September?

I needed this visit. This visit was what I needed as my last push to ace my exams. I'm not saying not going will stop me trying to ace them because it definitely won't. But everyone knows what it's like when you get that spur of motivation, and that's what I was really hoping for and looking forward to.

Maybe I was too disorganised, maybe I did go about it all wrong. But I really do not think that them shouting at me whilst I'm crying my eyes out is going to help the situation.

But I still didn't win Mario Kart -_-'

Okay so since I got back from Greece I've actually felt really depressed. I haven't really seen any of my friends, and going from living with them for a week to not seeing them at all feels like crap. So that along with the horrible weather of Angleterre has just resulted in general MEHness.

HOWEVER

Today I met up with Becca and James and it made me feel SO much better. For starters, the weather was lovely, which I needed. Natural light makes me feel so much better. And then it was just sooo good to spend a day with those two coz I hadn't seen either of them in such a long time. It was one of those days when you just laugh all the time and it felt so good. We spent the majority of our day in the suit department in Topman (cheers James :P) and the rest of the day was spent with me having this shit ripped out of me for my Essex accent. And the funniest thing happened when me and James decided to share a waffle on Southbank and the first thing I said was "This is so gonna end up on the floor" and lo and behold...down it went. I went into absolutely hysterical laughter in the middle of a very busy public place. And I had a mouthful of ice cream. I'm actually LOLing thinking back to it.

So yeah, today was so what I needed and I'm in a really good mood now (:

Thankyou Becca and James, love you both lots! xoxoxo

Restraint.

I reread all the blogs on this blog since the blogging began, and I realised something. When it comes to writing stuff down and posting it online, I'm actually rather unreserved about what I include. I'm not saying I display every aspect of my life here, because I definitely do not. But the things I do write, I write whole-heartedly. Which got me thinking about how much I'd actually be willing to share with ye faithful few. Because there's some stuff that I'd be more than happy to write down on first thought, but then when I think about it, it's like "Wait a minute..." And by this I mean that I have a link to this blog on my Facebook (which is reserved only for friends and family) and as a result of this anything I write on my blog has to be acceptable for my mum, dad, brother and grandma to read. I do not mean this in an insulting way to them at all (my disclaimer just in case they are reading), it's just, things that I'd write for total strangers (no offence, but probably most if not all of you) to read is very different to the stuff I would feel happy about my relatives reading. And then there's the whole being considerate of peoples' feelings shizzle. I mean, let's be realistic, the majority of my shit days at school are down to people and their actions/words/implications. Because quite frankly, secondary school is a bitch. Obviously I can't come on here and mouth off about specific people, because there's every chance they'd see it. But this is not fair because providing you were all out of school people who I don't actually have personal friendships in the traditional, non internetical sense of the word with, then I am more than happy for you to know who's pissing me off and why.

Yeah I don't really know what point I'm trying to make.

I should go; it's 00.17 and I'm meeting up with James and Becca tomorrow. Should be good, haven't seen either of them in ages. Nightnight all xoxo

Some facts about plastic bags from WWF

Number of plastic bags used in the world … 1 million per minute
Number of plastic bags recycled in UK? … About 1 in every 200
Number of free plastic bags handed out by UK supermarkets per year? ... About 17 billion
Number of plastic bags used by average person in UK? ... 290 - 300 per year
Number of turtles, dolphins, whales, seals and other marine mammals killed by plastic bags and plastic waste per year? … Approximately 100,000
Number of free plastic bags handed out by UK supermarkets per year? … About 17 billion
Time it takes for a plastic bag to decay? … About 100 years
Working life of average plastic bag? … About 12 minutes

I'm not going to lie, I've always been dismissive towards girls who fall in love with shoes. I always thought them to be irritating and spoilt with wrong priorities in life. I used to turn my nose up at them and insist they were ditzy, idiotic airheads.

However, on the 28th of March this all changed. I went shopping in London with my nana and we were in Irregular Choice in Carnaby Street, which is a shop that sells the most unbelievably unique and stunning shoes you've ever seen. And I saw a pair of heels. And it quite literally was love at first sight. So I asked the lady for them in my size. But alas! "They're out of stock in that size." So I enquired, "Can I order a pair in?" "No.", she told me, "They are now out of production." I left the shop with my metaphorical tail between my legs.

That evening, I emailed the stockist telling him how desperately I needed these shoes. But hark, his reply merely read:

"Dearest Irregular Customer.
Thank you for contacting Irregular Choice!
As you may know, Irregular Choice is very popular and often sells out. It can be hard to get hold of past season styles once they have sold out from shops.
Our web site is currently undergoing a super-dooper makeover and will be back in full swing during June 2009.
However, if it’s something from a previous collection that you are after, these websites and stores will sometimes stock past seasons! Check:
www.letsbuyshoes.com
www.branch309.co.uk/irregularchoice
www.ebay.co.uk
T K Maxx
Should you wish to buy a pair of shoes you can’t find in a local stockist feel free to contact our London or New York store who may be able to help until our fantastic new web site launches.
Carnaby Street, London W1: 0207 494 4811
New York, Soho,: 001212 334 3404
Remember to sign up for our newsletter at www.irregularchoice.com and receive 10% of your first order :)
Love n Kisses
Irregular Choice.
Xoxox"

However, disastrously, none of the aforementioned websites of shops have the pair of shoes I so passionately desire.
So now, I take back everything I have ever said about girls who fall in love with shoes. I now know how you feel, and my heart is truly broken.

Dwell on their stunningness...

ifoundyourcamera

Despite getting back from Greece this morning and having had the time of my life, that is not what I want to blog about.

I was just on Postsecret's Twitter page and found this site www.ifoundyourcamera.blogspot.com. I have no idea but looking at it has made me feel really, really emotional. I'm one of those people who always has their camera on them; everything that happens I record with photos or film. Looking back on them in such a lovely feeling, even just looking at photos taken on a normal bus journey to school in the Summer of 2006 makes me feel really happy and nostalgic. I think ifoundyourcamera made me so upset because the reason I take so many photos is because one day, when I'm much older and the memories have faded, I will have the pictures to look back on as reminders of what happened and what I was feeling at the time. On ifoundyourcamera there are photos of honeymoons, holidays, weddings and 100th birthday parties. To think that the people who wanted the photos as memories of these amazing times might never have them back just makes me feel so sorry for them. One of my biggest fears in life is forgetting. Losing my camera could equal just that. I really cannot bear to think that there are people out there who have taken photos to record memories, and have then lost the visual evidence of what happened. I really hope I never lose my camera. And I really hope that anyone that has lost theirs can get it back really soon.

Greece is the word.

It has been quite a while since I last blogged.

When it comes to schoolwork, I would not say I'm a bare minimum type of person, but I could definitely do more. However, the last couple of weeks, I have been working like an absolute loony. Every single free period I have spent in the library doing work and I've been doing about 3 hours on return from school every evening. And what with that and the occasional vlog, I have not had much time for blogging.

But I return!

Not for long though because at 2.45am I am going to school. And then I'm going to Gatwick. And then I'm going to Greece. YAY!!!
It's only been just over a month since the ski trip but I'm already jetsetting again and I am so excited. The drama trip last year was to Italy and we had an incredible time, awesome bunch of people and awesome teachers. So I have reason to be really optimistic about the coming week. We're doing 10 hours of drama workshops and then performing in an amphitheater at the end of the week. WOOHOO! I love doing stuff that not many other people have had the chance to do. Not because I'm selfish and like to gloat about my experiences (cough) but just because...actually...I can't think of any other reason why I'd want to. Not gonna lie :D

But anyway. It's 21.44 and I still haven't finished packing, so I should probably do that in a minute. And I want to do a last vlog before I leave aswell.

Argh I hate that we're flying with EasyJet, you don't get reserved seats. Which means you just have to REALLY hope you're sat with someone you know and like. Otherwise it's gonna be 4 hours of awkwardness.

More important aspects of the trip: WEATHER. It's about 20C there at the moment, which is like 70F. Not perfect, but definitely more perfect than England. It's enough that we should be able to have a nice sunbathe on the beach, which conveniently is across the road from our hotel :D

So excited!!!

And on Thursday we get the day in Athens! I've always wanted to go to Athens, it's going to be incredible. I've been to Kos and Rhodes but never mainland. Lovely :D

I need to go to and sort stuff out now. I'm gonna Skype Tom and I'm gonna pack and I'm gonna have a bath and I'm gonna wash my hair.

I hope you all have fabulous weeks and I will see you when I return!