Wow, more than a year without writing a blog. I actually intended to do my 2014 roundup blog in 2014, but as I went away on the 27th I just didn't get round to it. However it's only 19 days into 2015 so I'll let myself off.
2014 was a bit weird. In many ways it was anti-climactic, but I think that was inevitable after my major high of my last semester of uni and graduating with a First and moving in with my best friends. Towards the end of 2013 I was starting to feel a bit down/bitter about how things were going, and this definitely was carried into 2014. I spent the first couple of months feeling quite depressed, because I was incredibly homesick all the time and didn't really feel close to anyone that I was around. I don't think this is a reflection on any of them; I think it was genuinely me being a bit depressed. I just wanted everything in Twickenham to be over so I could go back to my life in Essex. The highlight of the first part of 2014 (and the only thing that stands out in my memory as being good) was mine and Stuart's trip to Berlin. It was the first time we had been away together the two of us and we had a wonderful time. Berlin is a truly amazing city and suited us both down to a T as we love history, me being particularly passionate about Jewish history and Stuart WW2. We had both wanted to visit for a long time and it was really brilliant to go away just as two.
The next thing that happened in 2014 was me being offered a job in marketing. Suddenly the prospect of leaving behind Twickenham and moving back to Essex seemed looming and terrifying and not altogether attractive. At that point I really believe that you don't know what you've got till it's gone. But this time was made more bearable by another trip away with Stuart, this time to Budapest. We had another amazing holiday and a highlight was the Greek restaurant by the Danube which we both agreed was one of the best meals we've ever had. I don't even know if the food was that great or if it was just because of how happy we both were to be there together. Again, we got to explore an amazing city together.
Then I got back and started my new job a couple of days later. Even 9 months on I'm still not feeling 100% settled into office life. I definitely am more so than I initially was. At first I felt down and sad and like the office environment sucked the personality out of me. But I have come out of my shell more with my colleagues now and I really like most of them. I don't know if I'll ever LOVE sitting at a desk looking at a screen all day, but I'm grateful to have had no gaps in my CV and to have been offered a job relevant to my degree less than a year after graduating.
In June I went to Portugal with my parents, grandparents, uncle Warren, brother, brother's girlfriend Emily and Stuart. Another lovely week was had by all of course. I can't believe this year I won't be going with, it's heartbreaking and I think I'll feel really upset the whole week.
The summer really was the best part of my year and one of the best experiences of my life. I finally got to go on Birthright Israel. Not only that, but I got to go with Megg (first cousin) and my best friend from school, Becca. We realised in year 7 after spotting each other's Star of David necklaces that we were both Jewish. We didn't talk till halfway through year 8, but years of extremely close friendship followed. I then went to uni and Becca went to Canada and then to Scotland so we went a long time without seeing each other. But we had always said we wanted to go to Israel together and honestly I felt like the luckiest person in my group to have new friends, family and an old friend with me to share it with. The entire Israel experience was truly faultless but I don't need to write about it here as I have 80 pages of handwritten travel journal to look back on.
When I got back from Israel I was absolutely thrilled to pieces to be asked by Fallon (who took over from me as intern at the uni) to be her plus one on the Disneyland Paris trip. This meant that I got to go for a third year running, which is something I would never have dreamed of. It made me miss my uni so much, and it is always at the back of my mind that maybe I'd like to go back there one day. I don't know if this will happen or if I even really want it, but it's always there.
A few weeks after getting back from Israel Stuart and I booked a ski trip. This again was a true highlight of the year. I hadn't been skiing since my last trip with BCHS in 2010, so five years. I had craved the mountains and just the whole skiing experience, and every year that went by I missed skiing more and became more resigned to the fact that I thought I'd never do it again. But we bit the bullet and booked a ski trip for December to Bulgaria. Sure enough, we had an absolutely brilliant week and I honestly couldn't have been any happier to be back on skis in -21 degrees again. It was definitely made better by the fact that I really liked the people in my group. We don't keep in touch; we didn't even swap details. But without them it wouldn't have been even half as lovely as it was. We were in Bulgaria for new year, which brings us to now. January 2015. Eight years since I first wrote One of these posts I think.
So I suppose I can't complain too much about 2014. It sounds cliche but it really was full to the brim of highs and lows. In a way, emotionally, my Israel trip was a condensed version of 2014. But I got to go on 6 holidays, I got a job, I'm back home with my parents and enjoying it (for now!) and everyone in my life is currently healthy, including my pets. I really won't complain.
Now let's see how I did with the lists I made at the end of last year -
AIMS FOR 2014
- travel. I don't know when and I don't know where, but I have to see some more places that I've never seen before.
I think I ticked this off. I got to visit Berlin, Budapest, Israel and Bansko, all places I've never been before. I also got to travel back to Portugal and back to Disneyland Paris. I am under no illusions about how lucky I am to have done these things, much less all in one year!
- get a JOB that I love that leaves me with enough disposable income to do said travelling and to buy my favourite Urban Decay 24/7 liquid eyeliner regularly
I haven't been here long enough to say that I love it, but I definitely don't hate it and I have enough money to save and travel and buy the Urban Decay eyeliner. I don't buy it at the moment, but if I wanted to I could, and that's what matters here :P
- at least have a more clear plan with Stuart about us moving in together, if not actually moving in together this year
Hopefully in the next couple of weeks it will be even clearer.
- stay with Stuart, obviously
Obviously
- see my cousins Rachel and Sophie more often. I hadn't seen them in years but then in the last few months of 2013 I saw them three times and it reminded us how well we all get on
Sadly this did not happen, but I did see them a few weeks ago for a nice catchup and I'm seeing them in a couple of months too
- sort out my anxiety
I'm doing REALLY well
- continue growing my hair
It's really getting there now!
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2014
- going to Berlin tomorrow with Stuart
Brilliant
- going to Portugal in June with my parents, brother, grandparents, uncle Warren and Stuart
Brilliant
And now for this year's lists.
AIMS FOR 2015
- go and visit Becca in Scotland with Eleanor
- go and visit Beth in Loughborough
- remain cheeseless (been 13 days so far)
- continue becoming as vegan as possible, focusing on cutting the dairy out
- continue growing my hair
- go on an amazing holiday this summer with Stuart (currently discussing Sri Lanka)
- go on a city break with Stuart
- go somewhere with my family at the end of the year (we are currently discussing something very Northern, involving lights...)
- stay with Stuart
- move in with Stuart
- continue liking myself
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2015
- visiting Poland
I have nothing else planned as of yet for 2015. I don't know what this year will bring. All I know is if I can get to 2016 with my family and pets still fine and me still with Stuart and having seen some new places and done some new things then I'll probably consider it a success.
Monday, 19 January 2015
Wednesday, 1 January 2014
Roundup of 2013 blog
Every time I have to write this blog I feel quite terrified because the first one I did was at the end of 2007. It is now 2014, meaning I am in my 7th year. I remember my dad telling me when I was really young that every year goes faster than the last. He was right. 2013 flew by. I can't even pinpoint that many specific elements of it because of the speed of which they passed. But I'll give summarising it a go.
2013 was a strange one. The start of it was absolutely perfect. I was in New York City standing in Times Square with Stuart and it was only the 3rd day of a 10 day trip. Those 10 days were some of the best of my life. I've never loved a place more, and I spent the rest of the year missing it desperately. Once I got back from NY I completed my final semester of university, which was wonderful. It couldn't have been better. I had an amazing group of friends and I was constantly busy, which I thrived off. I was not only doing my degree, but also co-heading an exhibition committee that put on the first ever graduate showcase of Media Arts work at the end of the semester. We raised all the money ourselves, in ways such as putting on a onesie party in the SU (£700 raised) and pitching to the university for some contribution towards it (£500 raised). We all felt very achieved and proud. In April I found out that I got the internship, which was very exciting, and then in May I went on holiday with some of my best friends to Spain. In June I went to Portugal with my family and Stuart and in July I graduated with a First Class degree, which was my dream come true. The rest of the summer was spent mainly with my family but also doing some very frenzied househunting. This is when the year stopped being perfect for me, and the constant stress and anxiety set in. We eventually found a place but the start date was too late meaning I had to do a lot of horrendous travelling the first few weeks of my internship, which was very unenjoyable and made me ill. Then when we did finally move in I didn't have a bed for 3 weeks. We had a housewarming party that basically none of our best friends came to, and by this point I was in the swing of working full time. I've on the whole enjoyed the internship so far, but I'd be lying if I said it was easy to 100% enjoy getting paid less than minimum wage when you have a First Class degree. I would never do my work begrudgingly, and I happily stay 6 hours past my finishing time if I know it'll be helping students, but for over £2.50 an hour less than the people who work in the canteen?! Anyone who said that doesn't bother them is a liar. Along with all this has come people constantly telling me, "Well, it's because you're an intern". Yes, they call me an intern, but the fact of the matter is if I was not the intern and they did not have an intern then there would be at least TWO people doing the jobs that I do for less than minimum wage. So the last few months have basically been me being incredibly stressed and overworked and then constantly having to justify myself to the people around me. Not ideal. Don't get me wrong, I find my work extremely rewarding and most of the people I work with are amazing and I do genuinely love helping people. I have really particularly enjoyed spending one to one time with students giving them help, and then seeing them improve. I have even surprised myself a few times with the knowledge, and therefore overall I am fine with my internship. A perk of the job that I must mention is that in November I was able to go on the field trip to Disneyland again...for free. So no complaints there. As much as it wasn't the same as being there for the first time with my best friends, it was still a wonderful weekend and a highlight was definitely going up the Eiffel Tower with Lucy, Rebecca, Damian and Si. I was incredibly happy to be able to go home in December for Christmas, and honestly I'm not too much looking forward to being back in Twickenham in a couple of weeks. I'm much happier at home and I think after my internship if possible I will move back to Essex before I hopefully get a place with Stuart. I have learnt a lot about myself. I thought going home after living away for 3 years would be very bad and difficult, but it's the opposite. I hate not being able to pop back whenever I want due to a fairly sparse university timetable. I'm constantly homesick and looking forward to travelling back at the weekends. It makes it worse living with people who are near to their homes and can just get a bus or drive back in half an hour. Despite turning 22 I have felt less independent and confident in myself than I have at all over the past 3 years. But now it's 2014 (even then I typed 2013 and had to change it) and hopefully the year will follow the tone of the start of 2013 rather than the end. Now for the evaluating bits.
AIMS FOR 2013
- get a First in my degree. Really I'm setting myself up for a 2:1, but if I get a 2:1 I know I'll be devastated, and I'm definitely aiming for a First.I did it. I still can't really believe it. When writing the above I remember hoping I wouldn't be disappointed when I went to evaluate it at the end of the year, and I'm not.
- sort out my anxiety
It was fine at the start of the year but the last couple of months it has been bad. But I haven't been too ill with it so that's good
- continue getting long hair
Well I suppose so, but I don't think it has grown more than an inch this year to be honest.
- after graduation, get a job that I love and that utilises my degree
As I'm still at uni in the Media department it definitely utilises my degree, and most of the time I really like it. It's not a job though, it's an "internship"
- stay in contact with my brilliant lecturers
They are now my colleagues, bizarre
- I just got a text from Amy about an idea for a short film...so it is now an aim to make that short film
Can't even remember anything about this
- vlog/blog regularly
Nope, haven't really had the time or the will to be honest
- move out....this is ambitious and unlikely, but it would be great
Yep.
- get on better with Jake
I haven't seen him much this year
- stay with Stuart
Yep
- stay best friends with the wonderful Media Arts girls
Yeah
- sing at the last SMarts acoustic night at uni
Me, Simon, Tara and Jamespeach did a wonderful rendition of One Day More from Les Mis
- do some travelling
Not what I'd consider travelling. But I'm going to Berlin with Stuart tomorrow so nearly
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2013
- starting the year in NEW YORK CITY!!!! I can't believe that when I go back to commentate on this next year I'll have already done this when right now it is still a dream!
I wish it was still a dream. It was the best trip of my life and I must go back there, I must. Preferably to live for a while, either working or studying
- my Arts and Culture module
I really loved this module, I had such a laugh with my friends, particularly when we were extremely late for the Tate Modern because we decided to have dessert in the Beefeater
- doing my practical dissertation
It went okay
- making my Online Broadcasting documentary
Absolute highlight of my university experience.
- going to our apartment timeshare in Portugal with family and Stuart
It was a lovely week
- hopefully entering the world as a graduated real life human and hopefully doing well in it and not having a nervous breakdown and quarter-life crisis
I wouldn't go that far
And now for the stuff for this year.
AIMS FOR 2014
- travel. I don't know when and I don't know where, but I have to see some more places that I've never seen before.
- get a JOB that I love that leaves me with enough disposable income to do said travelling and to buy my favourite Urban Decay 24/7 liquid eyeliner regularly
- at least have a more clear plan with Stuart about us moving in together, if not actually moving in together this year
- stay with Stuart, obviously
- see my cousins Rachel and Sophie more often. I hadn't seen them in years but then in the last few months of 2013 I saw them three times and it reminded us how well we all get on
- sort out my anxiety
- continue growing my hair
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2014
- going to Berlin tomorrow with Stuart
- going to Portugal in June with my parents, brother, grandparents, uncle Warren and Stuart
I can't really put anything else that I'm looking forward to because I really have no plans yet. I don't know what's going to happen. I am quite scared. I just hope when I look at this blog in approximately 365 days time that I'm not disappointed or sad about anything, and that my family, friends and pets are all healthy and happy too.
2013 was a strange one. The start of it was absolutely perfect. I was in New York City standing in Times Square with Stuart and it was only the 3rd day of a 10 day trip. Those 10 days were some of the best of my life. I've never loved a place more, and I spent the rest of the year missing it desperately. Once I got back from NY I completed my final semester of university, which was wonderful. It couldn't have been better. I had an amazing group of friends and I was constantly busy, which I thrived off. I was not only doing my degree, but also co-heading an exhibition committee that put on the first ever graduate showcase of Media Arts work at the end of the semester. We raised all the money ourselves, in ways such as putting on a onesie party in the SU (£700 raised) and pitching to the university for some contribution towards it (£500 raised). We all felt very achieved and proud. In April I found out that I got the internship, which was very exciting, and then in May I went on holiday with some of my best friends to Spain. In June I went to Portugal with my family and Stuart and in July I graduated with a First Class degree, which was my dream come true. The rest of the summer was spent mainly with my family but also doing some very frenzied househunting. This is when the year stopped being perfect for me, and the constant stress and anxiety set in. We eventually found a place but the start date was too late meaning I had to do a lot of horrendous travelling the first few weeks of my internship, which was very unenjoyable and made me ill. Then when we did finally move in I didn't have a bed for 3 weeks. We had a housewarming party that basically none of our best friends came to, and by this point I was in the swing of working full time. I've on the whole enjoyed the internship so far, but I'd be lying if I said it was easy to 100% enjoy getting paid less than minimum wage when you have a First Class degree. I would never do my work begrudgingly, and I happily stay 6 hours past my finishing time if I know it'll be helping students, but for over £2.50 an hour less than the people who work in the canteen?! Anyone who said that doesn't bother them is a liar. Along with all this has come people constantly telling me, "Well, it's because you're an intern". Yes, they call me an intern, but the fact of the matter is if I was not the intern and they did not have an intern then there would be at least TWO people doing the jobs that I do for less than minimum wage. So the last few months have basically been me being incredibly stressed and overworked and then constantly having to justify myself to the people around me. Not ideal. Don't get me wrong, I find my work extremely rewarding and most of the people I work with are amazing and I do genuinely love helping people. I have really particularly enjoyed spending one to one time with students giving them help, and then seeing them improve. I have even surprised myself a few times with the knowledge, and therefore overall I am fine with my internship. A perk of the job that I must mention is that in November I was able to go on the field trip to Disneyland again...for free. So no complaints there. As much as it wasn't the same as being there for the first time with my best friends, it was still a wonderful weekend and a highlight was definitely going up the Eiffel Tower with Lucy, Rebecca, Damian and Si. I was incredibly happy to be able to go home in December for Christmas, and honestly I'm not too much looking forward to being back in Twickenham in a couple of weeks. I'm much happier at home and I think after my internship if possible I will move back to Essex before I hopefully get a place with Stuart. I have learnt a lot about myself. I thought going home after living away for 3 years would be very bad and difficult, but it's the opposite. I hate not being able to pop back whenever I want due to a fairly sparse university timetable. I'm constantly homesick and looking forward to travelling back at the weekends. It makes it worse living with people who are near to their homes and can just get a bus or drive back in half an hour. Despite turning 22 I have felt less independent and confident in myself than I have at all over the past 3 years. But now it's 2014 (even then I typed 2013 and had to change it) and hopefully the year will follow the tone of the start of 2013 rather than the end. Now for the evaluating bits.
AIMS FOR 2013
- get a First in my degree. Really I'm setting myself up for a 2:1, but if I get a 2:1 I know I'll be devastated, and I'm definitely aiming for a First.I did it. I still can't really believe it. When writing the above I remember hoping I wouldn't be disappointed when I went to evaluate it at the end of the year, and I'm not.
- sort out my anxiety
It was fine at the start of the year but the last couple of months it has been bad. But I haven't been too ill with it so that's good
- continue getting long hair
Well I suppose so, but I don't think it has grown more than an inch this year to be honest.
- after graduation, get a job that I love and that utilises my degree
As I'm still at uni in the Media department it definitely utilises my degree, and most of the time I really like it. It's not a job though, it's an "internship"
- stay in contact with my brilliant lecturers
They are now my colleagues, bizarre
- I just got a text from Amy about an idea for a short film...so it is now an aim to make that short film
Can't even remember anything about this
- vlog/blog regularly
Nope, haven't really had the time or the will to be honest
- move out....this is ambitious and unlikely, but it would be great
Yep.
- get on better with Jake
I haven't seen him much this year
- stay with Stuart
Yep
- stay best friends with the wonderful Media Arts girls
Yeah
- sing at the last SMarts acoustic night at uni
Me, Simon, Tara and Jamespeach did a wonderful rendition of One Day More from Les Mis
- do some travelling
Not what I'd consider travelling. But I'm going to Berlin with Stuart tomorrow so nearly
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2013
- starting the year in NEW YORK CITY!!!! I can't believe that when I go back to commentate on this next year I'll have already done this when right now it is still a dream!
I wish it was still a dream. It was the best trip of my life and I must go back there, I must. Preferably to live for a while, either working or studying
- my Arts and Culture module
I really loved this module, I had such a laugh with my friends, particularly when we were extremely late for the Tate Modern because we decided to have dessert in the Beefeater
- doing my practical dissertation
It went okay
- making my Online Broadcasting documentary
Absolute highlight of my university experience.
- going to our apartment timeshare in Portugal with family and Stuart
It was a lovely week
- hopefully entering the world as a graduated real life human and hopefully doing well in it and not having a nervous breakdown and quarter-life crisis
I wouldn't go that far
And now for the stuff for this year.
AIMS FOR 2014
- travel. I don't know when and I don't know where, but I have to see some more places that I've never seen before.
- get a JOB that I love that leaves me with enough disposable income to do said travelling and to buy my favourite Urban Decay 24/7 liquid eyeliner regularly
- at least have a more clear plan with Stuart about us moving in together, if not actually moving in together this year
- stay with Stuart, obviously
- see my cousins Rachel and Sophie more often. I hadn't seen them in years but then in the last few months of 2013 I saw them three times and it reminded us how well we all get on
- sort out my anxiety
- continue growing my hair
THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2014
- going to Berlin tomorrow with Stuart
- going to Portugal in June with my parents, brother, grandparents, uncle Warren and Stuart
I can't really put anything else that I'm looking forward to because I really have no plans yet. I don't know what's going to happen. I am quite scared. I just hope when I look at this blog in approximately 365 days time that I'm not disappointed or sad about anything, and that my family, friends and pets are all healthy and happy too.
Tuesday, 5 November 2013
Perspective
Today at work a holocaust survivor named Rudi Oppenheimer came in to give a talk about his experiences during World War II. He went from Germany to London and then to Holland, where he and his family were taken to the transit camp Westerbork and then to the concentration camp Bergen Belsen. I have blogged before about how I can’t watch depictions of the Holocaust. But having Mr Oppenheimer standing in front of me telling us about his first hand experiences was something else. He was only 14 and he had to hear the news that his grandparents had been gassed on arrival to the camp. He had to see his parents die of Typhus. He had to live in fear of the SS knocking on his door before they were taken to Westerbork, knowing that it was coming any day now. All the things that I have read about so many times in so many books was there in front of me. It was unbelievable. I read Anne Frank’s diary when I was very young, about 10, and I know it extremely well. Mr Oppenheimer lived down the street from her, and he mentioned the names of people that I know were friends of Anne. He said he used to play in the same park as her, and that he was at Bergen Belsen the same time that Anne and her sister Margot died there of Typhus. He was telling us about the mounds you can see there today, and about the thousands and thousands of bodies buried under each one. He then said that underneath them somewhere are his mum and dad.
What got me the most was firstly that he has very little, if not no resentment towards Germany. He had to flee his home in Berlin when he was a small boy to escape the Nazi regime. Yet he says with perfect composure that most of the people living there now were born post-war so they cannot be held accountable. Obviously I agree with him, but I know from my own grandparents how difficult it is to regain this frame of mind after the war. So the fact that someone impacted so directly from it can say this is incredible. The other thing that touched me the most was his humour. After everything he went through, losing his parents, grandparents, friends, dignity…he still injected humour into his words. How a person can come out of that and still have the essence of themselves is amazing.
It was an extremely harrowing 90 minutes, but I will never forget them. It gave me a lot of perspective in my life, and I think anyone lucky enough to live a privileged life needs perspective sometimes. Mr Oppenheimer said that the worst thing about the holocaust is that humans have not learnt from their mistakes. He definitely made us all think a lot about this, and the importance of keeping in our minds what people go through every single day. He said that the main thing we can learn from this is the importance of protest, and that even if our protests make no difference we should still utilise our freedom to protest to make stands about what we know is right and wrong.
I’m very glad I got to attend this talk and as an Ashkenazi Jew I took a lot from it in a personal way. I cannot believe how truly unlikely my existence is when I think about my heritage and my religion. I need to remember how lucky I am to be alive every day.
What got me the most was firstly that he has very little, if not no resentment towards Germany. He had to flee his home in Berlin when he was a small boy to escape the Nazi regime. Yet he says with perfect composure that most of the people living there now were born post-war so they cannot be held accountable. Obviously I agree with him, but I know from my own grandparents how difficult it is to regain this frame of mind after the war. So the fact that someone impacted so directly from it can say this is incredible. The other thing that touched me the most was his humour. After everything he went through, losing his parents, grandparents, friends, dignity…he still injected humour into his words. How a person can come out of that and still have the essence of themselves is amazing.
It was an extremely harrowing 90 minutes, but I will never forget them. It gave me a lot of perspective in my life, and I think anyone lucky enough to live a privileged life needs perspective sometimes. Mr Oppenheimer said that the worst thing about the holocaust is that humans have not learnt from their mistakes. He definitely made us all think a lot about this, and the importance of keeping in our minds what people go through every single day. He said that the main thing we can learn from this is the importance of protest, and that even if our protests make no difference we should still utilise our freedom to protest to make stands about what we know is right and wrong.
I’m very glad I got to attend this talk and as an Ashkenazi Jew I took a lot from it in a personal way. I cannot believe how truly unlikely my existence is when I think about my heritage and my religion. I need to remember how lucky I am to be alive every day.
Saturday, 25 May 2013
HELLO.
I finished university 16 days ago. I handed in my last piece of work (see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzvFntGlz4I) and I am FINISHED. I've been in uni every single day since then doing various other stuff, but all the work stuff is done. I've been at uni because we have had the Exhibition (that Amy & I and our committee totally DID) and I have also been shadowing the current intern Bryony for 2 weeks in preparation for starting that job in September! It has just been the best couple of weeks. I am so, so enjoying how it feels to be done with the education side and to have been spending time with my lecturers (not that they are that anymore to me!) in a different kind of way. We have been (well, in mine and my friends' eyes I think anyway) friends with them for a while now, but obviously there has been that professional boundary type-thing that is in place with teachers and students. Not that that's a big thing at uni (or on my course, at least) anyway, but it's there. But now we have been spending time with them outside of hours and socialising with them and I have had such a good time doing so. I mean, part of my finds this TERRIFYING because lecturers are grown ups and I am (in my own head) still a 15 year old schoolgirl. But obviously this is not reality anymore; I am finished with full time education and I am going into the (oh god) REAL WORLD very very very soon and this is something I need to come to terms with. Bearing in mind when I turned 16 and 18 I had massive freakouts I thought I would find this difficult. But I've absolutely loved experiencing this new side to university life. I have the most incredibly mind-blowingly wonderful friends, they are just perfect, perfect people and I couldn't wish for them to be any better. I haven't felt this happy in my whole life I don't think. The icing on the cake is that me and Joe are talking again, which is an enormous weight off my shoulders that had been there for quite a while. I just feel so lucky! I just got back from the pub with some of the uni staff, and Amy, Lucy and Jamespeach. It was originally just us lot but the staff were there too and Damian (lecturer) told us to merge with them, so that's what we did. I thought it would be weird as to them I figured we would just be kids. But this is what I mean, I need to realise that this is not how I will be seen anymore. I am a person in the (oh bloody hell) REAL WORLD same as anyone else now. It's scary, but so far it's wonderful. I am loving it. I have so much to be excited for. I have achieved VERY highly academically this year, I have done insane amounts of extra-curricular and have won an award for it (and the award was NAMED AFTER ME AND AMY), I am starting a job at uni in September with the wonderful lecturers that now are not my lecturers anymore, I have just been told today I am going to be the social media manager for my degree course & I've got an interview later this week to be a social media manager for a film that is going to Cannes and Edinburgh next year! It's just perfect. I couldn't ask for any more in life at the moment. Oh, and next Sunday I'm going on holiday with 3 of my best friends. And then 5 days after I get back from that holiday I'm going on another one with my family and Stuart.
I'm so incredibly happy.
I'm so incredibly happy.
Friday, 29 March 2013
New York day 3 - 31.12.12
Last day of 2012 in New York!
We started by going to a diner called Galaxy Diner for breakfast. I had the horrendous decision between challah French toast or a stack of pancakes, and I went for the latter, because I can make challah French toast any time but pancakes made my Jocy are not the same as pancakes made in an American diner. I had my pancakes with a totally yumtacular fruit salad, and syrup too obviously :D
After breakfast we went to this thing called the Highline, which is basically a disused train line over New York that has been turned into a garden-type thing with lovely views and pretty flowers. As much as I still don't really understand what it was all about, it was very nice. Again the weather was perfect and the views really were lovely. There were also deckchairs which are always a hoot, especially when you can push the deckchairs down the train tracks :D
Then we all felt peckish so we went for a walk and dicovered Joe's Pizza in Greenwich Village, and it transpired that it's meant to be one of the absolute best pizza places in the city, and honestly I firmly believe that claim. There is something so WONDERFUL about eating a slice of pizza larger than your face out in the open. My only regret is only having the one slice, what was I thinking?!
We then went to Coffee Bean (grandpa's tea stop) which is basically a vastly superior Starbucks. I had the nicest drink I can remember ever having, it was a black forest iced coffee. I watched them make it and as well as normal mocha, it had solid chocolate and actual maraschino cherries blended into it, totally delicious!
The others then wanted to go back to the hotel for a rest before the evening, but Stuart and I decided to continue walking. We walked through Greenwich Village, Washington Square Park and then up 5th Avenue. Washington Square Park was incredible. There were people doing yoga, a group of men doing intense frisbee tricks, men playing card games, and even a man busking on a grand piano! The atmosphere was electric, and eclectic. I absolutely loved it. It was in that moment I think I decided that I was in love with New York City. I would do anything to live there for a while, and to be able to visit that park whenever I wanted. It was very special.
As we had to walk up 5th Avenue to get back to our hotel, it would have been rude not to do a spot of shopping. We went to Barnes & Noble which was just amazing, it was I think the biggest one in the world. A lovely man stopped and asked me if I was Australian though which was strange. This happened a few times throughout the holiday. I bought a lovely copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. I realise that I do not need another copy of it, but it's one of my most loved books and the cover was limited edition and gorgeous and it smelled amazing and I have no self control. We went to another Sephora (second of the day, I went to one in Greenwich Village too) where I bought some nail varnishes and some eyeliner, and then to Footlocker where I purchased some simply BARGAINOUS Converse. They were $60 reduced to $20 which is like £13. Mental.
Then, as it was New Year's Eve, I decided to put on my sparkly dress for dinner. We went to a restaurant called Viv Thai, and I don't usually like Thai food at all but I actually really enjoyed this. Especially my green dumplings :D My absolutely favourite part of this meal however was when my grandpa came back to the toilet wearing the Madeiran hat we got him in the summer. It is a silly tradition in my family that on Passover my grandpa will put different silly hats that we have bought him over the years on when no one is looking. When he came out of the loo with this on it was so hilarious and I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.
So after dinner we had to get ready for the New Year! The plan was that we would all go to my parents' hotel room where they had nibbles and champagne, and we'd all watch the Times Square coverage on TV and bring 2013 in together. But at 11.20 me and Stuart had a change of heart. We were watching Times Square on TV, and I suddenly realised that we were there. We were TEN MINUTES from there. Why were we in our hotel room?! So I told Stuart that even though we would never actually get into Times Square now (they shut the surrounding streets off to prevent over crowding), we were in no way staying in that hotel. So we decided to just head out and see what happened. Sure enough, the whole area near Times Square was absolutely packed, but by eavesdropping on the locals and asking a few helpful NYPD people, we managed to find a really great spot at 46th Street, just a few blocks away from the Square. It was packed out and absolutely buzzing, and when we looked up we could actually see the giant clock in the Square ticking down to midnight! We missed the actual countdown but we saw the fireworks and everyone was so happy and excited. Straight after midnight people starting pouring back in the other direction, so we moved forward and 10 minutes into 2013 we found ourselves in the middle of Times Square, with confetti still falling from the sky. We even saw the same man on the stage that we had been watching on TV less than an hour beforehand! The atmosphere was just incredible, and to be there at that time of year was a true once in a lifetime experience. We stayed in Times Square absorbing everything for about half an hour, but then we were both desperate for a wee so we had to go back. We went to say hello to my parents and grandparents and then we went to bed, ready for day 4 in New York City :D
We started by going to a diner called Galaxy Diner for breakfast. I had the horrendous decision between challah French toast or a stack of pancakes, and I went for the latter, because I can make challah French toast any time but pancakes made my Jocy are not the same as pancakes made in an American diner. I had my pancakes with a totally yumtacular fruit salad, and syrup too obviously :D
After breakfast we went to this thing called the Highline, which is basically a disused train line over New York that has been turned into a garden-type thing with lovely views and pretty flowers. As much as I still don't really understand what it was all about, it was very nice. Again the weather was perfect and the views really were lovely. There were also deckchairs which are always a hoot, especially when you can push the deckchairs down the train tracks :D
Then we all felt peckish so we went for a walk and dicovered Joe's Pizza in Greenwich Village, and it transpired that it's meant to be one of the absolute best pizza places in the city, and honestly I firmly believe that claim. There is something so WONDERFUL about eating a slice of pizza larger than your face out in the open. My only regret is only having the one slice, what was I thinking?!
We then went to Coffee Bean (grandpa's tea stop) which is basically a vastly superior Starbucks. I had the nicest drink I can remember ever having, it was a black forest iced coffee. I watched them make it and as well as normal mocha, it had solid chocolate and actual maraschino cherries blended into it, totally delicious!
The others then wanted to go back to the hotel for a rest before the evening, but Stuart and I decided to continue walking. We walked through Greenwich Village, Washington Square Park and then up 5th Avenue. Washington Square Park was incredible. There were people doing yoga, a group of men doing intense frisbee tricks, men playing card games, and even a man busking on a grand piano! The atmosphere was electric, and eclectic. I absolutely loved it. It was in that moment I think I decided that I was in love with New York City. I would do anything to live there for a while, and to be able to visit that park whenever I wanted. It was very special.
As we had to walk up 5th Avenue to get back to our hotel, it would have been rude not to do a spot of shopping. We went to Barnes & Noble which was just amazing, it was I think the biggest one in the world. A lovely man stopped and asked me if I was Australian though which was strange. This happened a few times throughout the holiday. I bought a lovely copy of To Kill a Mockingbird. I realise that I do not need another copy of it, but it's one of my most loved books and the cover was limited edition and gorgeous and it smelled amazing and I have no self control. We went to another Sephora (second of the day, I went to one in Greenwich Village too) where I bought some nail varnishes and some eyeliner, and then to Footlocker where I purchased some simply BARGAINOUS Converse. They were $60 reduced to $20 which is like £13. Mental.
Then, as it was New Year's Eve, I decided to put on my sparkly dress for dinner. We went to a restaurant called Viv Thai, and I don't usually like Thai food at all but I actually really enjoyed this. Especially my green dumplings :D My absolutely favourite part of this meal however was when my grandpa came back to the toilet wearing the Madeiran hat we got him in the summer. It is a silly tradition in my family that on Passover my grandpa will put different silly hats that we have bought him over the years on when no one is looking. When he came out of the loo with this on it was so hilarious and I will remember that moment for the rest of my life.
So after dinner we had to get ready for the New Year! The plan was that we would all go to my parents' hotel room where they had nibbles and champagne, and we'd all watch the Times Square coverage on TV and bring 2013 in together. But at 11.20 me and Stuart had a change of heart. We were watching Times Square on TV, and I suddenly realised that we were there. We were TEN MINUTES from there. Why were we in our hotel room?! So I told Stuart that even though we would never actually get into Times Square now (they shut the surrounding streets off to prevent over crowding), we were in no way staying in that hotel. So we decided to just head out and see what happened. Sure enough, the whole area near Times Square was absolutely packed, but by eavesdropping on the locals and asking a few helpful NYPD people, we managed to find a really great spot at 46th Street, just a few blocks away from the Square. It was packed out and absolutely buzzing, and when we looked up we could actually see the giant clock in the Square ticking down to midnight! We missed the actual countdown but we saw the fireworks and everyone was so happy and excited. Straight after midnight people starting pouring back in the other direction, so we moved forward and 10 minutes into 2013 we found ourselves in the middle of Times Square, with confetti still falling from the sky. We even saw the same man on the stage that we had been watching on TV less than an hour beforehand! The atmosphere was just incredible, and to be there at that time of year was a true once in a lifetime experience. We stayed in Times Square absorbing everything for about half an hour, but then we were both desperate for a wee so we had to go back. We went to say hello to my parents and grandparents and then we went to bed, ready for day 4 in New York City :D
New York day 2 - 30.12.12
Second day in the city that never sleeps!
We started the day by going to Dunkin' Donuts for brunch. Any place that we could not visit back home was on my to-eat list. I had a cinnamon and raisin bagel with cream cheese, and let me just tell you that the cream cheese you get in New York tastes like rainbows and happiness. I followed this with a jelly donut. Normally I'd pick a fancier one, but I wanted something that is quintessentially American, because I'm a full on tourist. It was amazing. Worth every single calorie.
Then we went to do the Circle Line boat trip. This was a huge boat trip all the way around Manhattan Island, so we got to see Brooklyn and of course the Statue of Liberty. Honestly, and this is bearing in mind that I have skied in -18 degree temperatures, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO COLD IN MY LIFE. It was BITTER. It was also unbelievably windy, to the point that there is no way you could stand upright when a gust blew. But it was also just so much fun. The sky was bright blue, and it was so lovely and sunny. I had the best time. I managed to stay outside for all of it minus about 15 minutes, when I had to go indoors to warm up. I went in when we went by the Yankee Stadium because I wasn't too bothered about seeing that.
For dinner we went to a restaurant called the Blue Smoke, and it did barbecue food. Not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting to love it, but it was actually one of my favourite meals of the whole holiday. I had a beetroot and goats cheese salad (faaavourite starter EVERRR) followed by salmon with sides of sweet potato fries and the most glorious mac and cheese you can imagine, (yuuuum) and then I couldn't pick a dessert so me and dad shared a platter of ALL THE DESSERTS which is basically my ultimate Dream Come True. This consisted of apple crisp (basically a crumble), chocolate cake, sticky toffee pudding, key lime pie and banana cream pie. There is something about how pies are done in America. I feel sorry for Americans who come over and order pie in the UK.
After this we went to B&H, which is basically an absolutely enormous techy gadgety camera-y shop COMPLETELY RUN BY HASSIDIC JEWS. I thoroughly enjoyed this, as did my dad.
Following this, we met up with nana and grandpa (who had gone for dinner with their friends who live in NY that evening) and decided to go for a Spot of Tea. My grandpa absolutely loves stopping for tea wherever we go, and New York is no exception. Every year for about 6 years my family has had a huge meal at the Intercontinental in London, and we found the one in NY so decided to go there for our tea that evening. When I say the service was bad, I really mean it was so appallingly terrible that it was borderline hilarious. 40 minutes after ordering, nothing had arrived, and 20 minutes later when it did arrive it was all wrong, and then we had to chase (literally) the waitress to get her to sort it out and then at the end when the bill finally arrived they had put service charge on it! Grandpa was not amused. It definitely did not live up to the standards we are used to in Park Lane, but it was memorable in its own special way :P
We started the day by going to Dunkin' Donuts for brunch. Any place that we could not visit back home was on my to-eat list. I had a cinnamon and raisin bagel with cream cheese, and let me just tell you that the cream cheese you get in New York tastes like rainbows and happiness. I followed this with a jelly donut. Normally I'd pick a fancier one, but I wanted something that is quintessentially American, because I'm a full on tourist. It was amazing. Worth every single calorie.
Then we went to do the Circle Line boat trip. This was a huge boat trip all the way around Manhattan Island, so we got to see Brooklyn and of course the Statue of Liberty. Honestly, and this is bearing in mind that I have skied in -18 degree temperatures, I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO COLD IN MY LIFE. It was BITTER. It was also unbelievably windy, to the point that there is no way you could stand upright when a gust blew. But it was also just so much fun. The sky was bright blue, and it was so lovely and sunny. I had the best time. I managed to stay outside for all of it minus about 15 minutes, when I had to go indoors to warm up. I went in when we went by the Yankee Stadium because I wasn't too bothered about seeing that.
For dinner we went to a restaurant called the Blue Smoke, and it did barbecue food. Not gonna lie, I wasn't expecting to love it, but it was actually one of my favourite meals of the whole holiday. I had a beetroot and goats cheese salad (faaavourite starter EVERRR) followed by salmon with sides of sweet potato fries and the most glorious mac and cheese you can imagine, (yuuuum) and then I couldn't pick a dessert so me and dad shared a platter of ALL THE DESSERTS which is basically my ultimate Dream Come True. This consisted of apple crisp (basically a crumble), chocolate cake, sticky toffee pudding, key lime pie and banana cream pie. There is something about how pies are done in America. I feel sorry for Americans who come over and order pie in the UK.
After this we went to B&H, which is basically an absolutely enormous techy gadgety camera-y shop COMPLETELY RUN BY HASSIDIC JEWS. I thoroughly enjoyed this, as did my dad.
Following this, we met up with nana and grandpa (who had gone for dinner with their friends who live in NY that evening) and decided to go for a Spot of Tea. My grandpa absolutely loves stopping for tea wherever we go, and New York is no exception. Every year for about 6 years my family has had a huge meal at the Intercontinental in London, and we found the one in NY so decided to go there for our tea that evening. When I say the service was bad, I really mean it was so appallingly terrible that it was borderline hilarious. 40 minutes after ordering, nothing had arrived, and 20 minutes later when it did arrive it was all wrong, and then we had to chase (literally) the waitress to get her to sort it out and then at the end when the bill finally arrived they had put service charge on it! Grandpa was not amused. It definitely did not live up to the standards we are used to in Park Lane, but it was memorable in its own special way :P
Saturday, 16 February 2013
New York day 1 - 29.12.12
This was our first full day in New York City. We started by going to Uncle Mario's for lunch, where we had some quite nice pizzas.
Mine was quatro formaggio, although I so nearly picked a pizza base topped with macaroni cheese. I also had a cherry soda that had about 200% of my sugar RDA in it. I would never usually touch full sugar drinks with a barge pole, but when in New York eh!
I think the most exciting part of this lunch was that whilst we were waiting for our pizzas...it started to SNOW! It was so exciting to be looking out the window onto 10th avenue seeing the snow falling! I was terrified that the snow would stop whilst we were eating and that we wouldn't get a chance to be out and about in it, but I didn't have to worry because it snowed all day. After lunch we made our way towards the Guggenheim, which meant we got our first glimpse of Central Park, in the snow no less! I was mainly excited because Mia goes to Central Park in Princess Diaries (you may notice reading this that a lot of my holiday was spent being excited about places Mia goes in Princess Diaries :P).
The walk to the Guggenheim was LONG, and it was really really snowing, and settling in areas. We got absolutely soaking wet, and freezing cold, but I genuinely didn't care because you can't care about things like that when you are experiencing New York for the first time ever :D After the Guggenheim we went to Grand Central Station to have a look, and honestly it didn't hit me that I was there till after we had left. I felt like I'd seen it before because of how iconic a place it is.
This was another recurring theme throughout the whole holiday; feeling like I'd seen things before. We also discovered the most amazing food market kind of underneath the station, and it hurt me inside that we were staying in a hotel and I was unable to buy and cook some of the things we saw. Some of the stuff that really stands out in my memory are the cheese stall, the salmon counter (particularly the delicious looking teriyaki salmon with sesame seeds, mmmmmm!) and the most stunning gingerbread houses I have ever seen in my life.
Then it was dinner time. Now, I make no secret of the fact that despite being an atheist, I am Jewish through and through and extremely passionate about my heritage and the traditions that come with it. So for this reason, Sammy's Roumanian will probably remain as one of my favourite dining experiences, ever. It is this unbelievably Jewish restaurant that specialises in shmultz over consumption, and from the second I saw the gloriously green Jewcumbers on the table I knew it was going to be wonderful. I had mushroom barley soup followed by salmon steak with latkes and apple sauce. Pretty much my dream dinner.
And then, my grandpa told the waitress that we were there to celebrate my 21st birthday, so later on she brought me out a plate of ruggelach (delicious Jewish sweet pastry pancake cakey things) with a candle on top!
So I told her that we had all come over to also celebrate my parent's 25th and my grandparent's 55th anniversaries, so the entertainer (think Bar Mitzvah singer, keyboard, Jewfro and all) played that "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today" song about New York for us all. It was just so much fun.
Then, he started playing Jewish music such as Hava Nagilah and Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, so lots of people got up to dance the Hora, including my mum and dad! The best thing about it for me was that we had travelled to an entirely different country and were surrounded by people we had never met, but we all knew the same songs and same dances and loved the same foods. That is very special. Definitely my favourite thing about being Jewish; the global community and instant connection you have with other Jews. I was very proud of Stuart who coped very well with all the madness and what must have been a huge culture shock for him! But he ate a steak the size of his arm, along with 5 latkes, so I think he found it all okay! After the meal was over I quickly smuggled a Jewcumber into my handbag for later, because I just couldn't leave without one spare.
After we got the Subway back to where we were staying, most wanted to head to bed as everyone was tired out from the traveling the day before. I however was not going to sleep before getting a glimpse of Times Square. Luckily we were only a 10 minute walk from it, so me and Stuart decided to head over. I remember approaching it and being in such a daze that all I could really take in were lights, lights everywhere. I couldn't believe I was there, really truly THERE, in New York, in Times Square. It was just wonderful.
We started off by going in the M&M World, which to be honest was the same as the one in London. Then we went in the Disney Store, which was beautiful as ever. Then I had to go in Sephora (another thing that will crop up throughout these diaries, so many Sephoras!) because we don't have that in the UK and I had heard so much about them from watching beauty channels on YouTube. Then we went to Toys R Us, which was just INSANE. It has a BIG WHEEL in the shop! On the bottom level, but so tall that it goes all the way up to the ceiling, and you can really ride on it! And there was a sweet shop there too! And an entirely different sweet shop that only sold Wonka chocolate! It was just amazing!
We finished the night by going to Starbucks, where I ordered a frappacino. The lady in there looked absolutely aghast and said, "You do know a frappacino is iced right? You can't have an iced drink, it's snowing out, they are for when it's hot!" so I said to her, "I'm from England. If we only had cold drinks when it was hot out we would never have cold drinks!" She was so nice and friendly. Stuart and I then walked back to our hotel in the snow and settled down for a sleep after our first day in what would soon become my favourite city in the whole world.
Mine was quatro formaggio, although I so nearly picked a pizza base topped with macaroni cheese. I also had a cherry soda that had about 200% of my sugar RDA in it. I would never usually touch full sugar drinks with a barge pole, but when in New York eh!
I think the most exciting part of this lunch was that whilst we were waiting for our pizzas...it started to SNOW! It was so exciting to be looking out the window onto 10th avenue seeing the snow falling! I was terrified that the snow would stop whilst we were eating and that we wouldn't get a chance to be out and about in it, but I didn't have to worry because it snowed all day. After lunch we made our way towards the Guggenheim, which meant we got our first glimpse of Central Park, in the snow no less! I was mainly excited because Mia goes to Central Park in Princess Diaries (you may notice reading this that a lot of my holiday was spent being excited about places Mia goes in Princess Diaries :P).
The walk to the Guggenheim was LONG, and it was really really snowing, and settling in areas. We got absolutely soaking wet, and freezing cold, but I genuinely didn't care because you can't care about things like that when you are experiencing New York for the first time ever :D After the Guggenheim we went to Grand Central Station to have a look, and honestly it didn't hit me that I was there till after we had left. I felt like I'd seen it before because of how iconic a place it is.
This was another recurring theme throughout the whole holiday; feeling like I'd seen things before. We also discovered the most amazing food market kind of underneath the station, and it hurt me inside that we were staying in a hotel and I was unable to buy and cook some of the things we saw. Some of the stuff that really stands out in my memory are the cheese stall, the salmon counter (particularly the delicious looking teriyaki salmon with sesame seeds, mmmmmm!) and the most stunning gingerbread houses I have ever seen in my life.
Then it was dinner time. Now, I make no secret of the fact that despite being an atheist, I am Jewish through and through and extremely passionate about my heritage and the traditions that come with it. So for this reason, Sammy's Roumanian will probably remain as one of my favourite dining experiences, ever. It is this unbelievably Jewish restaurant that specialises in shmultz over consumption, and from the second I saw the gloriously green Jewcumbers on the table I knew it was going to be wonderful. I had mushroom barley soup followed by salmon steak with latkes and apple sauce. Pretty much my dream dinner.
And then, my grandpa told the waitress that we were there to celebrate my 21st birthday, so later on she brought me out a plate of ruggelach (delicious Jewish sweet pastry pancake cakey things) with a candle on top!
So I told her that we had all come over to also celebrate my parent's 25th and my grandparent's 55th anniversaries, so the entertainer (think Bar Mitzvah singer, keyboard, Jewfro and all) played that "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today" song about New York for us all. It was just so much fun.
Then, he started playing Jewish music such as Hava Nagilah and Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, so lots of people got up to dance the Hora, including my mum and dad! The best thing about it for me was that we had travelled to an entirely different country and were surrounded by people we had never met, but we all knew the same songs and same dances and loved the same foods. That is very special. Definitely my favourite thing about being Jewish; the global community and instant connection you have with other Jews. I was very proud of Stuart who coped very well with all the madness and what must have been a huge culture shock for him! But he ate a steak the size of his arm, along with 5 latkes, so I think he found it all okay! After the meal was over I quickly smuggled a Jewcumber into my handbag for later, because I just couldn't leave without one spare.
After we got the Subway back to where we were staying, most wanted to head to bed as everyone was tired out from the traveling the day before. I however was not going to sleep before getting a glimpse of Times Square. Luckily we were only a 10 minute walk from it, so me and Stuart decided to head over. I remember approaching it and being in such a daze that all I could really take in were lights, lights everywhere. I couldn't believe I was there, really truly THERE, in New York, in Times Square. It was just wonderful.
We started off by going in the M&M World, which to be honest was the same as the one in London. Then we went in the Disney Store, which was beautiful as ever. Then I had to go in Sephora (another thing that will crop up throughout these diaries, so many Sephoras!) because we don't have that in the UK and I had heard so much about them from watching beauty channels on YouTube. Then we went to Toys R Us, which was just INSANE. It has a BIG WHEEL in the shop! On the bottom level, but so tall that it goes all the way up to the ceiling, and you can really ride on it! And there was a sweet shop there too! And an entirely different sweet shop that only sold Wonka chocolate! It was just amazing!
We finished the night by going to Starbucks, where I ordered a frappacino. The lady in there looked absolutely aghast and said, "You do know a frappacino is iced right? You can't have an iced drink, it's snowing out, they are for when it's hot!" so I said to her, "I'm from England. If we only had cold drinks when it was hot out we would never have cold drinks!" She was so nice and friendly. Stuart and I then walked back to our hotel in the snow and settled down for a sleep after our first day in what would soon become my favourite city in the whole world.
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