Right so I had initially planned to vlog about all this but I've since then decided to write a blog about it first so that my vlog is more concise, because honestly this is something I'm VERY confused about.
I'm 19 years old. I'm at university, I've been with my (first) boyfriend for 5 months, I'm unemployed. I'm in full time education and I have hobbies and I do any work experience I can get my hands on. I hang out with my friends, any money I can save I use for concerts, days out and ice cream. This is the stage of my life that I am at, and this is the life most of the people my own age that I know are living.
Unsurprisingly, when I realised that it is now a norm for people of my age, and at my stage in life to get MARRIED. The last month or so, SO MANY of my friends have got engaged. And from Facebook and the nature of the newsfeed, I also know that many of my friends' friends are getting married and engaged, also of my own age.
I am gobsmacked. Initially, I was gobsmacked because I just felt that surely I can't be so old that I'm an age when getting engaged is socially acceptable? And then I have to remind myself that I'm 19, and despite the fact that I still feel the same as when I was 16, I'm not 16 any more.
So then I thought it through and I decided that fair enough, people getting engaged at this age is totally fine. Legally, it's totally legit, and we are mature and we can think for ourselves and make our own decisions. And we are old enough when we can have been with someone for a few years, and if that is long enough to know that we want to spend the rest of our life with them then why the hell should we NOT get married to them?
And then I thought of it some more. Marriage is about so much more than how old we are and how long we've been with our other half. And I came to the conclusion that getting engaged at my AGE is totally fine. But getting engaged if you're at my stage of life...in my opinion, that's just bizarre.
I find it hard to fathom that anyone who is at uni, loving spending day in and day out with their friends and having a laugh living on Sainsbury's Basics can be ready to get married. It doesn't matter if you're 19 or 29 (after all, the term "young" so so subjective, as it could refer to someone that is 6 or someone that is 26), marriage is much more to do with the stage you are at in your life.
I'm so happy for all the people I know who have recently got engaged. I think it's so lovely that they are getting ready to commit to spending the rest of their life with the person that they love. But I really don't see why they think it's necessary. I love my boyfriend to absolute pieces and I adore the thought of spending the rest of my life with him. Do I feel like this means I have to marry him asap? No I don't. Me and Stuart like it, but we don't need to put a ring on it. We're extremely happy together, we see eachother a lot of the time and when I'm not with him I miss him a lot. But we don't need to get engaged, because we know that if we are still together when this stage of our lives is over, then that will be an option. But for now, at the stage of life we are currently at, we are not planning our marriage. We can plan ON marrying eachother ONE DAY, but now, it's just not relevant to our lives.
Which is why I am absolutely not knocking anyone I know who has recently got, or is getting engaged, at our age. I passionately believe that each is to their own, and I will always stick by that. However that does not make it any easier for me to comprehend how someone at this (and by this, I mean the stage of life I've been referring to throughout this blog) point in life can have marriage as a feasible option.
As I said, I would never judge or knock anyone who is not likeminded to me. I am so, so interested in this as it has suddenly become very prominent in my life, so if anyone has any experiences of themselves or their friends, or even if anyone just has an opinion on this, I'd be massively enthusiastic about hearing it.
Thank you for reading, and please leave your views (:
Sunday, 17 July 2011
Saturday, 16 July 2011
A really nice true story.
Here is a really nice true story from late Tuesday night and the early hours of Wednesday morning.
Well the last almost fortnight I have stayed at the Flair House (the house in Twicks that my boyfriend and four of my best friends ((David, Benji, Simon and Michael)) have for whilst at unimaversity). The first 4 days I was there Stuart was there too but then on the Friday he had to go home. And I saw him on the Saturday evening for MCR at iTunes Fest. But afterwards he had to go home and I was going back to the Flair House and we had to say goodbye to each other at Waterloo at gone midnight and neither of us wanted to say bye and it was one of the most horrible experiences of my life, I was so upset and the train journey was torturous and I just was very upset ):
And the reason I was so upset was because I had no idea when I was seeing him next, at this stage we had to leave it at “Maybe see you next week, but if not I’ll see you in about 5 weeks time” and that prospect was awful, it was the not knowing how long the goodbye was for that made the goodbye so bad.
All of the Sunday I still felt very sad, and I did on the Monday too. I felt quite shaken up from the horrible goodbye and I still didn’t know if I was seeing him before the month was out.
On Monday night Stuart texted me saying he was coming back to the Flair House on Tuesday evening, and I was so very happy, I was really ecstatic. But on Tuesday it got to the evening and I hadn’t heard from him and I was really losing hope that I would see him. I had a nice evening because Lizzie came round, but I missed Stuart very lots.
So you can imagine how happy I was when at about 10pm Stuart texted me! However because it was quite late he said that he couldn’t come to the Flair House till the following morning. I was extremely disappointed, but very happy because I knew when I was next seeing him. But a big part of me was upset because I had so looked forward to seeing him very soon, and it would be another 12 hours yet.
At about midnight, Stuart was texting me so that we could make plans for me meeting him at the station the following morning. Just as I texted him telling him that I would be there at 10.39 to meet him, I heard a noise at the door. This is what happened next:
Jocy: What was that?
Lizzie: You better go and have a look.
Michael: Maybe it’s Stuart.
Jocy: …No…
Lizzie: Go and have a look.
Stuart had planned all along since he started texting me that night that he would surprise me at the Flair House! He was already on the train on his way when he texted me telling me that he’d be there tomorrow!
So I got up and just as I walked towards the hallway, Stuart was standing right in front of me.
And then I gave him the biggest hug in the world and I was so so happy. It was one of the loveliest things someone has ever done. When I heard the front door noise for a tiny split second I thought “Ohh I so badly wish that was Stuart” but I didn’t let myself process the thought properly because I just thought I’d disappoint myself! But it was Stuart, he came to surprise me and it was so lovely.
The end, I hope you like my really nice true story (:
Well the last almost fortnight I have stayed at the Flair House (the house in Twicks that my boyfriend and four of my best friends ((David, Benji, Simon and Michael)) have for whilst at unimaversity). The first 4 days I was there Stuart was there too but then on the Friday he had to go home. And I saw him on the Saturday evening for MCR at iTunes Fest. But afterwards he had to go home and I was going back to the Flair House and we had to say goodbye to each other at Waterloo at gone midnight and neither of us wanted to say bye and it was one of the most horrible experiences of my life, I was so upset and the train journey was torturous and I just was very upset ):
And the reason I was so upset was because I had no idea when I was seeing him next, at this stage we had to leave it at “Maybe see you next week, but if not I’ll see you in about 5 weeks time” and that prospect was awful, it was the not knowing how long the goodbye was for that made the goodbye so bad.
All of the Sunday I still felt very sad, and I did on the Monday too. I felt quite shaken up from the horrible goodbye and I still didn’t know if I was seeing him before the month was out.
On Monday night Stuart texted me saying he was coming back to the Flair House on Tuesday evening, and I was so very happy, I was really ecstatic. But on Tuesday it got to the evening and I hadn’t heard from him and I was really losing hope that I would see him. I had a nice evening because Lizzie came round, but I missed Stuart very lots.
So you can imagine how happy I was when at about 10pm Stuart texted me! However because it was quite late he said that he couldn’t come to the Flair House till the following morning. I was extremely disappointed, but very happy because I knew when I was next seeing him. But a big part of me was upset because I had so looked forward to seeing him very soon, and it would be another 12 hours yet.
At about midnight, Stuart was texting me so that we could make plans for me meeting him at the station the following morning. Just as I texted him telling him that I would be there at 10.39 to meet him, I heard a noise at the door. This is what happened next:
Jocy: What was that?
Lizzie: You better go and have a look.
Michael: Maybe it’s Stuart.
Jocy: …No…
Lizzie: Go and have a look.
Stuart had planned all along since he started texting me that night that he would surprise me at the Flair House! He was already on the train on his way when he texted me telling me that he’d be there tomorrow!
So I got up and just as I walked towards the hallway, Stuart was standing right in front of me.
And then I gave him the biggest hug in the world and I was so so happy. It was one of the loveliest things someone has ever done. When I heard the front door noise for a tiny split second I thought “Ohh I so badly wish that was Stuart” but I didn’t let myself process the thought properly because I just thought I’d disappoint myself! But it was Stuart, he came to surprise me and it was so lovely.
The end, I hope you like my really nice true story (:
Friday, 8 July 2011
Oh, to have no clue!
I have given up on the idea that I will ever be a television presenter.
Realistically, I am 19 and a half years old and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I know a few (hopefully) determining factors:
1. I want to travel a lot in the not too distant future, and then (hopefully) quite regularly thereafter.
2. I want to be with Stuart forever.
3. I do not want to work in an office.
4. I do not want a monotonous 9-5 job.
5. I want to work with lots of different types of people.
6. I don't want so much responsibility that I can't enjoy and relax in my job, but I want enough responsibility that I am contributing, making a positive difference and earning respect from my co-workers.
7. I want to work in something that makes a noticeable difference to at least some peoples' lives.
Any ideas, chuck em at me :P
Realistically, I am 19 and a half years old and I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. I know a few (hopefully) determining factors:
1. I want to travel a lot in the not too distant future, and then (hopefully) quite regularly thereafter.
2. I want to be with Stuart forever.
3. I do not want to work in an office.
4. I do not want a monotonous 9-5 job.
5. I want to work with lots of different types of people.
6. I don't want so much responsibility that I can't enjoy and relax in my job, but I want enough responsibility that I am contributing, making a positive difference and earning respect from my co-workers.
7. I want to work in something that makes a noticeable difference to at least some peoples' lives.
Any ideas, chuck em at me :P
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