I'm back in Essex for the summer, which means I have 100% officially finished my first year of university. Did I ever really believe that I'd get to this point in 2011? Hell no I didn't, I totally thought I was going to bail out of UCAS and do a gap year. But against all of the odds, I did it :D
I feel absolutely stunningly clearheaded, which is totally surprising for me. I have been really teary about the whole thing, every time one of my friends left Halls I have been a wreck. But last night and this morning when I had to clear my own room out I felt really fine. I think the closure was a lot to do with the fact that I wrote a letter to the next person who gets my room, giving some advice and telling them to look after 141 for me. I feel like the business of living there is finished and that I can move on from that stage of my life.
Living there was the best 8 months of my life. Reading back from my blog from my first week there and being excited about living there for 8 months gives me goosebumps, because I've experienced such a transition. I've come into my own at university, I feel more independent, confident and so much more comfortable in my own skin. The time has been spent with the most incredible people I've ever met, and I've developed the most unreal friendships. On top of that I met my boyfriend (under unbelievable circumstances - we didn't talk at all during the first semester despite the fact we spent so much time around the same people, as we didn't know we had anything in common. Lo and behold, we've been together over three months now!) and I've just had the absolute time of my life. I moved into 141 without a friendship group, with less confidence that I made out I had and with a cynical outlook on most things. I left room 141 after spending 8 months with the best friends ever, feeling good about myself and with my boyfriend next to me. I think that's why I felt so much better about leaving than I thought I would.
So now I'm back home. I have no money, no bedroom furniture and no university. I could be feeling skint, disorganised and lonely. But instead I feel skint, disorganised and liberated. Everything I achieved this year I never thought I would, and I wouldn't change any of it for anything. It was the most mindblowingly perfect 8 months, more so than I could have have dared to dream it would be!
Today is the start of the rest, not the end of what was.
Monday, 30 May 2011
Sunday, 22 May 2011
Michael just left Halls.
When you apply for Halls of Residence at my university, you are allocated your room on an entirely random basis. Some unis do it by getting applicants to fill in a sheet which basically describes their personality and interests, and they room people based on that, so compatible people are near eachother. Some unis do it based on the subject the student is studying, so that people near eachother have that in common. But at my university, it is done entirely randomly.
MEMORY ONE.
It was the end of the summer holidays, September 6th 2010. A few days previously me and Estelle (close friend from back home who is at university with me) had found out that we had been allocated Halls, even though we had thought we would have to live out. I went round to her house and we spent the whole afternoon on the Facebook group set up for people moving into my Halls so we could meet eachother beforehand. Everyone posted on the wall of the group with their room number, so that you could see who you were living near to. I found "Room 140" posted on the wall by someone called Michael and was so excited because I had been given room 141. I had a look on his Facebook and saw that he loved books, Doctor Who, acting, theatre, Shakespeare, writing, The Killers...all the same things as me. I was immediately excited because I couldn't believe someone who I had so much in common with was going to be living so near to me, completely by chance! I was so happy. We talked on Facebook quite a lot in the 13 days before we moved in, and decided that as soon as we both arrived we would go and say hello.
MEMORY TWO.
September 19th. I had moved into Halls. The first thing I did once my mum and dad had said goodbye and left was so go and knock on Michael's door (which was actually opposite me as opposed to next door as we originally thought it would be). He opened the door. We stared at eachother in silence for about 2 seconds, and then both simultaneously started jumping up and down and screaming at eachother, we were just so excited!
LOTS MORE MEMORIES.
Over the 8 months that we lived as opposite next door neighbours I have so many memories. Passing notes under eachother's doors in the early hours of the morning, watching Doctor Who together, having a day in London in which we went to see Michael Gambon in a play and spent hours and hours in the National Portrait Gallery and Waterstones, coming back from a walk around Halls to find hilarious photos of Michael set as my desktop background, seeing him in Sweeney Todd and being so so proud and so, so many hilarious trips to the ref.
ANOTHER MEMORY.
The one worst day in Halls that I can think of is the day that Michael broke the news to me that he wasn't coming back in second year. He said that he wasn't enjoying his course and was going to go to a different university somewhere else. I was absolutely devastated and cried for two hours. All I could think was that I wasn't ready for anything to change yet; it was all so perfect. I didn't exactly love the idea of us not living in Halls next year even if we were still in the same town, and the thought of Michael in a different part of the country was absolutely awful. I was so devastated, but it was an idea that I had to get used to.
ANOTHER MEMORY.
About two months after hearing the news that Michael was leaving at the end of the year for good, I got another piece of news. He had changed his mind and was staying after all! I was absolutely elated.
ONE MORE MEMORY.
Today, May 22nd 2011, Michael went home. Only for the summer thank goodness, but he's gone back to his home town. He cleared out his room in Halls, and I went with him to give his key back. We had a last hug and a last laugh in Halls, and he's gone. No longer my opposite next door neighbour. I know I'll see him nearly every day next year, and I am seeing him next month even, but that's not what I'm upset about. I'm in mourning for the times we had over the past 8 months. He was the first person I spoke to when I got to university. I've had the best time of my whole life living in Halls, it's been everything I wouldn't have even dared to dream it would be plus more. And I've met the absolute best people that I could ever have met. Michael leaving has really signified the end of all this for me. I'm here for another week, but it'll be so different without him living a meter from me!
I am so excited about the rest of my life, because I know the people who are in it now are the people who will be in it forever. And I know that this past year is only the beginning.
MEMORY ONE.
It was the end of the summer holidays, September 6th 2010. A few days previously me and Estelle (close friend from back home who is at university with me) had found out that we had been allocated Halls, even though we had thought we would have to live out. I went round to her house and we spent the whole afternoon on the Facebook group set up for people moving into my Halls so we could meet eachother beforehand. Everyone posted on the wall of the group with their room number, so that you could see who you were living near to. I found "Room 140" posted on the wall by someone called Michael and was so excited because I had been given room 141. I had a look on his Facebook and saw that he loved books, Doctor Who, acting, theatre, Shakespeare, writing, The Killers...all the same things as me. I was immediately excited because I couldn't believe someone who I had so much in common with was going to be living so near to me, completely by chance! I was so happy. We talked on Facebook quite a lot in the 13 days before we moved in, and decided that as soon as we both arrived we would go and say hello.
MEMORY TWO.
September 19th. I had moved into Halls. The first thing I did once my mum and dad had said goodbye and left was so go and knock on Michael's door (which was actually opposite me as opposed to next door as we originally thought it would be). He opened the door. We stared at eachother in silence for about 2 seconds, and then both simultaneously started jumping up and down and screaming at eachother, we were just so excited!
LOTS MORE MEMORIES.
Over the 8 months that we lived as opposite next door neighbours I have so many memories. Passing notes under eachother's doors in the early hours of the morning, watching Doctor Who together, having a day in London in which we went to see Michael Gambon in a play and spent hours and hours in the National Portrait Gallery and Waterstones, coming back from a walk around Halls to find hilarious photos of Michael set as my desktop background, seeing him in Sweeney Todd and being so so proud and so, so many hilarious trips to the ref.
ANOTHER MEMORY.
The one worst day in Halls that I can think of is the day that Michael broke the news to me that he wasn't coming back in second year. He said that he wasn't enjoying his course and was going to go to a different university somewhere else. I was absolutely devastated and cried for two hours. All I could think was that I wasn't ready for anything to change yet; it was all so perfect. I didn't exactly love the idea of us not living in Halls next year even if we were still in the same town, and the thought of Michael in a different part of the country was absolutely awful. I was so devastated, but it was an idea that I had to get used to.
ANOTHER MEMORY.
About two months after hearing the news that Michael was leaving at the end of the year for good, I got another piece of news. He had changed his mind and was staying after all! I was absolutely elated.
ONE MORE MEMORY.
Today, May 22nd 2011, Michael went home. Only for the summer thank goodness, but he's gone back to his home town. He cleared out his room in Halls, and I went with him to give his key back. We had a last hug and a last laugh in Halls, and he's gone. No longer my opposite next door neighbour. I know I'll see him nearly every day next year, and I am seeing him next month even, but that's not what I'm upset about. I'm in mourning for the times we had over the past 8 months. He was the first person I spoke to when I got to university. I've had the best time of my whole life living in Halls, it's been everything I wouldn't have even dared to dream it would be plus more. And I've met the absolute best people that I could ever have met. Michael leaving has really signified the end of all this for me. I'm here for another week, but it'll be so different without him living a meter from me!
I am so excited about the rest of my life, because I know the people who are in it now are the people who will be in it forever. And I know that this past year is only the beginning.
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