Today was my last day of school

I pretty much hated sixth form. Towards the end of it I started liking it a bit more because I had an actual friendship group again. But compared to 03-08, the experience was not very much. I’ve been excited about finishing there for so long, and I’ve been saying for weeks that I have no emotional attachment to the place and that leaving would be a doddle. I was wrong. It’s stupid because I knew I was kidding myself the whole time. It was so easy to leave the place and to leave the majority of the people. For the pure fact that a lot of them I either don’t like or don’t know. And it was easy to say goodbye to the people I know I’m going to keep in touch with. The thing that really got to me was saying goodbye to the people I have so much history and so many memories with who I know I won’t keep in touch with. Because let’s face it, you can’t stay in touch with everyone. There were a couple of people in particular that I found it excruciating to part with, for the sole reason that I know it probably was goodbye for good. What made the day so much more dimensional was that an old friend of mine who left the school last year came to visit. I hadn’t seen him properly in about a year, and it was only when I went up to him and hugged him that I realised how much I’ve missed him. We might not have much in common anymore, but we were close for so long and I have so many in-jokes, memories and shared experiences with him. It was so amazing yet so emotional to be kind of reunited with Nick (‘: And then this afternoon as I was going into work I saw another friend who I haven’t seen in a year. Pete is the year above me and I’ve known him since year 11 and we spent a lot of time together last year and then he went off to uni and that was kind of it. But he’s back for the summer and working in the same place as me so we crossed paths this afternoon. We literally spoke for around 15 seconds but again, it made me realise how much I’ve missed him.

I’m lucky in that I didn’t suffer at school. I was never badly bullied and I always got/get (touch wood) good grades without having to slog my guts. But the last two years have definitely not been massively enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve made some friends for life over the past 20 or so months, new friends that I didn’t have beforehand. But the experience of actually being in sixth form was not good. Maybe that’s because I had years 7-11 to compare it with, which I loved so much. Whatever the case is with that, I’m so glad I’m out of that place. It presented me with some nice people, some amazing people, but a few too many awful people. It’s over now though, and it’s full steam ahead. Full steam ahead with my exams and full steam ahead with the rest of everything.

Today

Today was sooooo good.

I had my second to last day of school which finished early. So I blipped (blup) over to Joe's house and then we went up to London. We went with the intent of buying notebooks for our genius thought processes. But in the end we couldn't find ones awesome enough for us. So we went for a wander around the green bits in the Canary Wharf area and I took lots of photos and we just generally were laughing most of the afternoon (: After Canary Wharf we blipped (blup) to the o2 and here is an example of what induced serious lols:


Me and Joe at the o2, discussing the people who were going to see Black Eyed Peas tonight...

Joe: I think they've all got a feeling.
Jocy: I think that they've all got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night.
Joe: I think they've got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good, GOOD night.
Jocy: Oooh oooh.

AND AND AND

Joe: I would have bought a notebook if you had!
Jocy: Well I would have bought one if you had!
Joe: Ugh that's so dumb.
Jocy: Exactly. We need to stop being so codependent and start thinking for ourselves.
Joe: ...
Jocy: Actually no, that's ridiculous, forget I said that.
Joe: Yeah, that was a really STUPID idea.



I have too much love for the Cleaver :D

Unwelcome changes.

After a 5 month hoohar I have finally got an offer from a uni I want to go to on a course I want to do with do-able grade requirements. I wanted this so much and I am very happy, but it's going to take some time to get used to.

I really had thought for the past 5 months that I was going to do a gap year. And as a result of this I'd mentally prepared myself for this, made plans and let myself get excited.

After hearing from the university yesterday, I was initially euphoric, on top of the world. And then I got reality checks. Realising that I'm not going to be able to see my best friend twice a week anymore and realising that I'm not going to have my bedroom to go to whenever I want. Reality checks about how I'm going to now be spending my free time after September and reality checks about who I'll be spending my time with.

I'm finding it really hard getting my head around all of this. It's horribly bittersweet because I honestly did put up such a fight to get to this point UCAS-wise, so obviously I'm thrilled to bits that I finally got to where I want to be. But it is so, so hard for me to get my head around how severe and significant the changes are going to be.

I wish I could have my cake and eat it; go to university and take parts of my life now with me )':

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You're the sugar in my high

Yesterday was amazing. I got to do lots of my favourite things all in one day :D Here is a list of these things:

- see Joe

- get pick n mix

- sit and chat with Joe whilst eating pick n mix

- go to London

- go to Pizza Hut

- go to Cyber Candy

- see a musical

- have ice cream in the interval

- go to China Town

- have iced tea

- go into hysterics in a public place

Those are lots of my favourite things. That I did all in one day (‘:




By the way the title of this blog is from "Chemicals Collide" by Boys Like Girls. I think the lyrics are perfeCCCt.

My favourite word

unconditional |ˌənkənˈdi sh ənl; -ˈdi sh nəl|
adjective
not subject to any conditions

When you can grasp, from personal experience, the sheer profundity of this word at its best, you're lucky.

I'm lucky.

BEDOM #4 day 10

Yesterday was one of the most exhausting days I can remember.

I did some filming for this thing for my friend’s uni project and it was fun but so TIRING and it took like 7 hours to complete.

And then me and Joe started heading home and the journey should have taken about 2 hours and needed 2 trains but NOTHING was running and we had to get 2 trains and a transfer bus and a public bus. It was so exhausting. Though what was really good was getting a bus from Lewisham to Stratford because even though it was a massive trek and took forever, the bus went RIGHT THROUGH Greenwich, which is like the prettiest part of London. And me and Joe decided we’re going to be next door neighbours there when we grow up. The journey took FOUR HOURS. I went to bed early and slept straight through for 8 hours, but I’m still so shattered.

MORE NEWS, however, is that I think I have found the perfect uni course for me to do when I do go to uni :D Which is good. Especially for an indecisive FREAK like me. :D

BEDOM #4 day 8

I haven't BEDOM'ed much lately because I had a totally horrideous time at school. I had my French A2 oral exam which surprisingly went very well, but the buildup was atrocious. For other reasons it's been a really hard week. Probably mainly because everything has been living in Monday April 26th's shadow. Everything has been horribly generic. The end of school just cannot come fast enough. Yet I'm dreading May 28th because I'm terrified about my exams. I can't wait for June 29th. I've already made plans for the week after I finish school forever, so that is the light at the end of the tunnel.

I can't post this blog without mentioning politics. The England is in a horrific political situation at the moment. I won't go into details because if anyone reading this wants to know me they should get their information from a more reliable source than me :P But we basically don't have anyone REALLY in charge at the moment, because the general public has made it clear they don't want the current prime minister to run the country, but the other candidates didn't get enough votes either. Yes, it is as ridiculous as it sounds. No, England does not run on democracy. I don't care what anyone else says, I really don't think it is. I hate the UK governmental system. It's a total farce, sham, scam, joke and abomination.

And just for the record, yes, I did go to the polling station on Thursday.

BEDOM #3

25 days until I have completed 7 years of education at my school.
57 days until I have completed 7 years of work for my A2 exams at my school.

It's going to be a hideous 28 days. And then it's going to be a hideous 29 days. But at least the 29 days will only be interspersed with trips to school rather than spending every day at school.

Once the 57 days are up, I will be ecstatic. I so cannot wait to walk out of my last ever exam. I will probably skip out of the exam hall.

BEDOM #2 part 2

ADVANCES ON MY BROTHER AND HIS FRIENDS' GHOST SITUATION.

So they all made it home on one piece and I eavedropped them to get the hard proof that I needed that they weren't winding me up. So I started asking them what they saw. They saw a BLACK HOODED FIGURE WITH A WHITE FACE. Think about it. Black hooded figure with a white face. Who do we know who looks like that? LORD VOLDEMORT. I know that you're all thinking JOCY, VOLDEMORT ISN'T EVEN REAL AT THE BEST OF TIMES. Here's where the big coincidence comes in. Today is the 12 year anniversary since the Final Battle at Hogwarts. Today is the anniversary of VOLDEMORT'S DEATH. And my brother and his friends claim they saw something shrouded in black with a white face in a graveyard. They had no idea it was the anniversary of Voldemort's death today, and it did not even occur to them that that is what Voldemort looks like until I said so to them, so they definitely were not making anything up because they knew I'd add pieces together in my head.



HOW WEIRD AND CREEPY IS THAT!!!!!!!!

BEDOM #2

My brother and his friends have got really obsessed with the TV programme “Ghost Hunters” lately. I’ve watched it a few times and I do find it interesting but I’m too sceptical to think it’s genuine. I don’t think it’s FIXED as such, but I can’t help but be convinced the people in it are acting. Because there just doesn’t seem to be much spontaneity to their reactions. Anyway, back to my brother and his friends. They went out about an hour ago to the oldest wooden church in Europe which happens to be near to where we live. It’s about a mile into farming fields and isn’t next to any proper roads; it’s very secluded. They went for the sole reason to see if they could spot a ghost. My brother just rang me, out of breath and panting, raving about how they were in the graveyard and behind a tombstone they saw a figure with a white face, who then vanished. Now, I really do not know what to think. I do believe in imprints of departed souls, because I don’t think it is possible to be a tangible life on the earth and to then just vanish completely when you die. But I don’t think that the form that remains is a ghost. I don’t know what I think it is, I just know I don’t believe it’s that. But if there ever WAS going to be a place to see a ghost, it would be at Greensted Church. Knowing my brother and his friends they are probably just lying to me because they know I don’t believe in ghosts, so they want to see how far they can push me. The unknown frustrates me.

BEDOM #1

My French oral exam is on Thursday. This is soon. The thing with French is that I haven't prioritised it. I'm doing 5 A Level subjects (including General studies, which most unis don't count) whereas most people have done 4. And even then, universities never require you have more than 3. So French, being my weakest subject, is not the one I focus on most. Despite this, I don't want to do even worse than I did at AS because to put it bluntly, that would be damn embarrassing. HOWEVER, instead of learning my oral presentation and questions, I am writing this blog whilst watching Michael McIntyre Live and Laughing. I think we can all tell how this exam is going to go on Thursday...