BEDA #7

Every now and again things happen to me that make me ask, "WHAT IS MY LIFE?!?!?!?!"
Some examples of these things include being in the VIP area for the Killers for free, meeting JK Rowling and receiving a MacBook on Christmas day.
Today I had another of these moments and I kind of don't think it's sunk in yet really! I don't want to DIVULGE in case it goes hideously TITS UP which I hope it won't but you never know, it could.

Basically something that I've been HOPING would happen for around 2 years now has been thrown in front of me. I was so INSANELY ecstatic when I heard, I was in the middle of a busy Primark and I practically did a song and dance right there and then. But it's WEIRD because what I realised today is that you can want something so desperately and hope so much that it can happen and then when it does you feel a bit like a deer in headlights. Because then you're like WOOOAHHH. Despite having this thing you want to do so much at the front of your brain for so long, you don't actually FULLY consider the extent of EVERYTHING it will entail. And suddenly the details are in front of you and you're thinking I'M NOT READY FOR THIS!!!! even though you know you've been making yourself ready for years, on the off chance that it would even happen at all. But it's going to happen :D It's not even a massive deal technically. But for me it's a massive deal because if I don't like it or even worse, it doesn't like me and I'm not good at it, I have to replan my life. Which I don't really want to have to do as I've been trying to get something like this for so long. Haaaa I don't think I could be more cryptic about this if I tried!! I'm so so so excited and so so so nervous and SO SO SO SO SO GRATEFUL for the person who got me this opportunity in the first place and I'm SO SO SO SO SO pleased that I'm not going into this by myself. And I hope SO SO SO SO much that I'm good at it and that I love it and that people don't think I'm rubbish. Quite a lot lies in Saturday. Eeeeeeep excitement (: