So I'm like TOTALLY moving out in less than two weeks. That's not what I want to talk about though.

It's really strange. I am SO excited about university and living in London and not living at home and being able to do my own thing without mother and father telling me it's bedtime. And I'm SO excited about studying the subject I know my passion lies in and learning about it and doing homework and hopefully getting really good grades. However, I'm absolutely pooping myself about freshers' week and going out and constant partying and clubbing.

Which is the absolute REVERSE to literally every other of my friends that I have talked to about this. THEY'RE all scared about living alone and finding the work difficult and they're living for the student lifestyle.

I have always known since I was five and got laughed at because I refused to play kiss chase because I refused to kiss the boys that I don't have the same outlook on life as a lot of other girls. I knew from a really young age that I wouldn't have boyfriends throughout secondary school and that I would never wear loads of makeup (nearly 19 and never worn foundation in my life). But I didn't think I'd get to university age and not want to embrace the entire university lifestyle.

Sometimes I see it as a negative thing. I genuinely do see people's points when they tell me that I will miss out on the experience and find it harder to make friends if I don't immerse myself into everything that goes on, at least initially. Fact of the matter is I know that at this UV foam party I'm attending (if I muster the courage) in 16 days time I will really be completely out of my depth. I'll feel paranoid and conscious the whole time, and even if I'm there I will miss out on the experience and find it hard to make friends. I can make friends easier than most if I'm in an environment I'm comfy with; chuck me into a YouTube gathering, put me in a theatre production and I'll come out with friends for life, but put me in a crowded, music-filled room full of people exactly like me except drunk and confident and I will dissolve.

Other times I see it as a positive thing. I don't drink very much at all (to me, going out for a "couple of drinks" is literally that. And then I stop.) which means at university I will be saving about £30 a week compared to others. I don't want to be out at parties till the early hours every night, which I'm hoping and assuming will reflect positively in my standard of work. I will not get with random guys in situations such as these, which I really see as nothing but a good thing despite what other girls may think.

But most of all I just see these as a Jocy thing. Trust JOCY to be thrilled about fending for herself and getting down to some really challenging work and to be freaking out about going to lots of parties. That's just what I'm like. I still LOVE going out, I'll definitely immerse myself in what's going on as much as possible. I'll have a drink or two with my friends, I'll dance with them at parties and I'll never, ever look down upon people who want to take their own student experiences further than that. But I suppose I am just One Of Those People who wants to get my head down and do what I need to do. Which is get to where I want to be.