God

I spend a lot of my life thinking about god. This would be unsurprising if I believed in god, but I don't.

I consider myself to be a Jewish atheist. Culturally, I'm very much so a Jew. But I do not believe in the religious side of it. This blog isn't about my explaining or justifying that. Many people turn their nose up at that, but I know 100% that that is what I feel like and that is what I am.

I don't know why I spend so much time thinking about god. Every time something bad or difficult happens I really do wish so much that I believed in god, because I can really imagine the comfort that level of faith must bring. I have several religious friends and can't help but be envious when they can just readily rely on their belief in god to get them through whatever hardship is thrown at them.

However, when good things happen and people thank god for them, it sits very uncomfortably with me. For example, thanking god for good exam results, getting something you've been wanting or for the recovery of an ill person. I think it is a huge insult to the human race to thank god for things like these rather than crediting the humans that contributed to them happening. Thanking god for good grades doesn't seem fair to the person who worked to achieve them. Thanking god for getting something you've been wanting doesn't do justice to the people who made the informed decisions along the way. Thanking god for health doesn't credit the healthcare professionals who spend their lives trying to make people better.

I've talked about this with a religious friend of mine and he said that the people who result in good things happening do so because god looks after them and helps them to do the things. That isn't fair either! It implies that people do good things because either a) god helps them or b) because they know god wants them too. Why can't it be accepted that some people do good things because they care about the people around them and because they want to do good things? Why does god have to get the credit? Why give the credit to an intangible being rather than to actual people who try their best?

When people go down the wrong path in life I know some religious friends of mine will "pray for them" and "ask god to lead them right". Which is a lovely notion, but why can't responsibility be given to the people themselves to set themselves straight? Everyone needs help sometimes, but why can't we step in to help them rather than asking god to do it for us?

I have so many questions.