New York day 1 - 29.12.12

This was our first full day in New York City. We started by going to Uncle Mario's for lunch, where we had some quite nice pizzas.



Mine was quatro formaggio, although I so nearly picked a pizza base topped with macaroni cheese. I also had a cherry soda that had about 200% of my sugar RDA in it. I would never usually touch full sugar drinks with a barge pole, but when in New York eh!



I think the most exciting part of this lunch was that whilst we were waiting for our pizzas...it started to SNOW! It was so exciting to be looking out the window onto 10th avenue seeing the snow falling! I was terrified that the snow would stop whilst we were eating and that we wouldn't get a chance to be out and about in it, but I didn't have to worry because it snowed all day. After lunch we made our way towards the Guggenheim, which meant we got our first glimpse of Central Park, in the snow no less! I was mainly excited because Mia goes to Central Park in Princess Diaries (you may notice reading this that a lot of my holiday was spent being excited about places Mia goes in Princess Diaries :P).





The walk to the Guggenheim was LONG, and it was really really snowing, and settling in areas. We got absolutely soaking wet, and freezing cold, but I genuinely didn't care because you can't care about things like that when you are experiencing New York for the first time ever :D After the Guggenheim we went to Grand Central Station to have a look, and honestly it didn't hit me that I was there till after we had left. I felt like I'd seen it before because of how iconic a place it is.



This was another recurring theme throughout the whole holiday; feeling like I'd seen things before. We also discovered the most amazing food market kind of underneath the station, and it hurt me inside that we were staying in a hotel and I was unable to buy and cook some of the things we saw. Some of the stuff that really stands out in my memory are the cheese stall, the salmon counter (particularly the delicious looking teriyaki salmon with sesame seeds, mmmmmm!) and the most stunning gingerbread houses I have ever seen in my life.



Then it was dinner time. Now, I make no secret of the fact that despite being an atheist, I am Jewish through and through and extremely passionate about my heritage and the traditions that come with it. So for this reason, Sammy's Roumanian will probably remain as one of my favourite dining experiences, ever. It is this unbelievably Jewish restaurant that specialises in shmultz over consumption, and from the second I saw the gloriously green Jewcumbers on the table I knew it was going to be wonderful. I had mushroom barley soup followed by salmon steak with latkes and apple sauce. Pretty much my dream dinner.



And then, my grandpa told the waitress that we were there to celebrate my 21st birthday, so later on she brought me out a plate of ruggelach (delicious Jewish sweet pastry pancake cakey things) with a candle on top!



So I told her that we had all come over to also celebrate my parent's 25th and my grandparent's 55th anniversaries, so the entertainer (think Bar Mitzvah singer, keyboard, Jewfro and all) played that "Start spreading the news, I'm leaving today" song about New York for us all. It was just so much fun.



Then, he started playing Jewish music such as Hava Nagilah and Hevenu Shalom Aleichem, so lots of people got up to dance the Hora, including my mum and dad! The best thing about it for me was that we had travelled to an entirely different country and were surrounded by people we had never met, but we all knew the same songs and same dances and loved the same foods. That is very special. Definitely my favourite thing about being Jewish; the global community and instant connection you have with other Jews. I was very proud of Stuart who coped very well with all the madness and what must have been a huge culture shock for him! But he ate a steak the size of his arm, along with 5 latkes, so I think he found it all okay! After the meal was over I quickly smuggled a Jewcumber into my handbag for later, because I just couldn't leave without one spare.



After we got the Subway back to where we were staying, most wanted to head to bed as everyone was tired out from the traveling the day before. I however was not going to sleep before getting a glimpse of Times Square. Luckily we were only a 10 minute walk from it, so me and Stuart decided to head over. I remember approaching it and being in such a daze that all I could really take in were lights, lights everywhere. I couldn't believe I was there, really truly THERE, in New York, in Times Square. It was just wonderful.



We started off by going in the M&M World, which to be honest was the same as the one in London. Then we went in the Disney Store, which was beautiful as ever. Then I had to go in Sephora (another thing that will crop up throughout these diaries, so many Sephoras!) because we don't have that in the UK and I had heard so much about them from watching beauty channels on YouTube. Then we went to Toys R Us, which was just INSANE. It has a BIG WHEEL in the shop! On the bottom level, but so tall that it goes all the way up to the ceiling, and you can really ride on it! And there was a sweet shop there too! And an entirely different sweet shop that only sold Wonka chocolate! It was just amazing!



We finished the night by going to Starbucks, where I ordered a frappacino. The lady in there looked absolutely aghast and said, "You do know a frappacino is iced right? You can't have an iced drink, it's snowing out, they are for when it's hot!" so I said to her, "I'm from England. If we only had cold drinks when it was hot out we would never have cold drinks!" She was so nice and friendly. Stuart and I then walked back to our hotel in the snow and settled down for a sleep after our first day in what would soon become my favourite city in the whole world.

The beginning of the end

Tomorrow I embark upon my final semester as an undergraduate at university, ever.

I travelled back to my uni house this afternoon, and was inconceivably happy to see Stuart and Ben and New Simon and Tall Simon. My love for my uni friends feels heightened suddenly, I think just because I am so acutely aware that we don't have much longer left all together.

After we all had a pasta bake together, the above minus Ben and I decided to play in the snow :D As I grew up in a rather secluded town, away from where the majority of my friends (and people in general) lived, I really don't have any experiences of being in the snow with a group of friends. Apart from on the ski trip. We wanted to make a snowman but the snow was far too powdery so we decided to go to the golf course opposite our house (well actually the boys decided this and I reluctantly went with - I was worried it was private property and a scary man was going to jump out the bushes and arrest us for trespassing) and we had a big walk and the boys played with large sticks and re-enacted scenes from Lord of the Rings and then they found a huge frozen puddle and they all kept edging closer and closer to it whilst I stood on the sidelines shouting at them to be careful. It was lovely. I know that come even next week, I won't believe it was a whole week ago, let alone when I remember back to this in 10/20/30 years time. After this we walked to the end of our road and went to the newsagents. Amazingly at it was still open at 11pm so we all bought treats. I got a Magnum and revelled in the fact I could eat it as slowly as I wanted without it melting, thanks to the subzero temperatures this tonight.

Ohhh I just can't believe it's so nearly over. I'm not ready to leave these people. It's gone too quickly. I knew it would, but no one could have ever prepared me for how it has flown by. I want to cling on to them and never let go. Though they might find that a bit peculiar.

Tomorrow I have my first lecture of the semester, and I am seeing Amy and we are going to make a vlog together and I am seeing Nasima and Emma and Lucy and I just COULDN'T be more excited!!!! I have missed them so much.

So now, all that's left to do...GET. A. FIRST. UGHIGJSDKFASMNDGMBMF
Good night! x

PS..New York blog coming soon

My 2012!

It's time for my annual blog about the past year. I've done this every year since 2007, which is scary because I remember when I first decided to do one and now that was 5 years ago which is a quarter of my life. I'M OLDDDDDDDD.

Anyway, 2012 was a good year. The first few months weren't anything amazing. I totally loved my course (as usual) and had a nice time at uni with my Media friends, but my self confidence was low and I was suffering from very bad anxiety. I didn't want to socialise and I felt quite lonely. It wasn't the best. However, when it got to June everything started looking up. I went to Madeira with my family and with Stuart, which was absolutely incredible and I got to SWIM WITH DOLPHINS which was a lifelong dream of mine! And not in one of those awful tanks either, it was in the sea in the wild! It was just incredible. Putting my head underwater and being surrounded by about 30 dolphins, and hearing their whistles and clicks was one of the most amazing moments. It was jut wonderful.

In July I got to move into the house with Stuart and the boys. This was immediately a weight off my shoulders and a great relief. Shortly after this were the 2012 Olympic Games. I volunteered at my university was which was Pre-Games Training Camp for the South African, Chinese, Japanese and Irish athletics teams. It was such a brilliant experience! It converted me from an Olympic-cynic into an absolute Olympic fangirl. I got to meet some lovely people in the form of the other volunteers, such as Laura, Emma, Dan and Abbie and of course the hilarious Charlie. The people who were running the Camp were amazing and we just had the best time together. Having the opportunity to not only watch these world-class athletes train, but to also get to know them was such a once in a lifetime, and it felt really special to know we were helping them prepare for the biggest events of their lives so far. I got to meet some unbelievably famous faces such as Caster Semanya, Maria Mutola and Oscar Pistorius. And then, to add the icing on top of the cake, to thank me and Stuart for all our efforts (we did 6 weeks of full time volunteering) we got given tickets to see the Athletics in the Oympic Stadium for free! So we got to watch Jessica Ennis do some of her Heptathlon events, as well as Usain Bolt doing his 100m!!! So incredible! On top of this it so happened that the cycle races and time trials went straight past my uni, so we all got to go and cheer Team GB on by the side of the road together. The atmosphere was just mind-blowing and it really touched me how the spectators cheered on ALL the cyclists and not just our teams. It was perfect. Another highlight of this time was watching the Opening Ceremony with all of the volunteers and coordinators in the Link Room on campus. We all got takeaway Nando's and it was such fun. Later on, in October, I also went to see the Paralympic Athletics at the Olympic Stadium with my parents, Stuart, David and my wonderful friend Becky. It was equally amazing, if not more. I was delighted to be able to absorb the atmosphere of the Games some more, because it really was electric.

In August I went on a last minute spur of the moment holiday to Kavos, Corfu with two of my best friends from school Sarah and Katie. We hadn't all hung out together in YEARS, but we had such a lovely time! Even though the hotel/environment wasn't entirely up our streets (clubby!) we made the best of it and had a wonderful week in the scorching sun. We swam and went to the beach and had ice creams and all got on so so well, it was lovely. I really needed some guaranteed sun so it was perfect, and a lovely thing to round off my summer with.

So this brings me to September, when I started the first semester of my final year of university. Honestly, this is when I feel like I really came into my own at university. All the modules I studied this past semester have been WONDERFUL. I did a module about Disney, a module about Digital Imaging, Online Broadcasting and also my Practical Dissertation. I really found myself in a proper friendship group for the first time since halls, and this time I am so sure they are my friends for life. We spent day in day out together and even though we had an obscene amount of work and had to be at uni for about 15 hours a day, 7 days a week, the people I was with made sure that I still had the time of my life. I was very proud of myself in regards to Digital Imaging, because in the first few lectures I struggled SO much and I was genuinely sure that I would fail. But I went home and practised and I did this until I wasn't bad at it, and I am extremely proud of my finished results. Disney was the best module I have ever studied in my life...and not only because we got to go on a FIELD TRIP TO DISNEYLAND PARIS!!!!!

This was one of the best weekends of my life, 24th November - 26th November. It has been a dream of mine since I was 10 years old and first went to Disney World with my family that one day I could go to Disney with my friends. And that weekend my dream came true. It was utterly perfect, I cannot think of a single way that it could have been any better. The people I was with were just wonderful, there was not a singly dispute between us the whole weekend, we just spent the whole weekend being awe-inspired and laughing together. I went on my first ever rollercoasters too and loved them! Something that was recurring throughout the weekend was the support system we all had for eachother. This began on the way there when a couple of people felt travel sick and everyone rallied to help make them better. Then, that evening, we were deciding whether or not at 8.30 we wanted to bite the bullet and go to Paris for a few hours. I began feeling anxious because obviously we don't know the area well, it was dark, it was late, I was worried I was going to get ill...and everyone was just so lovely to me. Rebecca was particularly brilliant, I remember her just looking at me and saying that we were all there looking out for eachother and that I have to ignore the anxiety and just DO IT because no one would let anything bad happent to me and that this was one of the times where we just have to DO IT or we'd regret it forever, and that in the end I'd feel proud of myself for it. Simon refused to leave us and came with, and he helped me find a toilet when we arrived and I was desperate :D Amy, as usual, looked out for me and we stuck together in a situation when we were both out of our comfort zones. All I can say is that Rebecca was completely right and that we all owe Jess and Ellie for just going and buying their tickets, otherwise I don't think any of us would have. It was one of the most special nights of my life, and even though we were only there for a couple of hours, it was a couple of hours that I'll remember forever. Even when it came to rollercoasters everyone looked out for eachother! And by eachother, I mean me :P I was the only one who had never been on one before and the first one we rode was the Indiana Jones ride, and it went upside down! Tall Simon held my hand the whole time and I kept my eyes firmly shut :P But I truly loved it and went on many others. I also had to hold Nasima's hand on the Rock n Roller Coaster :P The rest of the weekend in Disney was just unbelievable. All the feelings that I had when I went a decade previously came flooding back, and the fact that it was all Christmassy just added to the magic. It was just mind-blowing, I had the time of my life and I just cannot emphasise that any more.

The weekend after Disney my birthday celebrations continued. Stuart took me for a posh afternoon tea in South Kensington, and after this we went to see Matilda the Musical courtesy of his parents! It was brilliant. And then the week after THAT, something VERY SPECIAL happened. I finally, after waiting since 2006, got to see...AMERICAN IDIOT THE MUSICAL!!!!!!!!! This was first mentioned online in 2006, when Billie Joe said that they wrote the album as a rock opera and would like to see it performed onstage. Years after this, it went to Broadway and then toured America, and then years after that, it FINALLY came for a London tour! It did not disappoint, and sitting in the third row with Stuart, Megg and David was another dream come true. I still can't really believe I finally got to see it, at the age of 21 having been 15 when I first heard about it. What are the chances of that! And my parents came too and also loved it which was brilliant.

So really, this brings me to now...the end of December. And it's not over yet because the day after tomorrow I am going to NEW YORK CITY with mum, dad, Jake, nana, grandpa and Stuart!!!! Mum has always said she wanted to take me to New York for my 21st, so we incorporated it with celebrations for my parents' 21st anniversary and my grandparents' 55th anniversary. I just can't believe I'm so lucky to be going to NYC with my amazing family and my boyfriend!!!!! I really am living the absolute dream, and I am SO excited!!! I need to pack now actually. But before that, I need to complete my checklist of the aims I made for 2012 by seeing if I achieved them. Then I'll give a quick commentary of the things that I looked forward to for this year. Lastly I'll make similar lists for 2013. Here we go:


AIMS FOR 2012
- Continue enjoying my course
DEFINITELY. I love it more and more each week to be honest, because every week I become closer with my friends and every week I learn some more. I can't believe that this time next year it will all be over ): I wish I could continue studying Media Arts forever, part of my wishes that anyway.

- Get a 2:1 at the end of second year
Yep (: I got 67.3, which is 2.7% off of a First!!!

- Stay with Stuart
Of course (:

- Not have arguments
I didn't really have any arguments that I can recall. This may have been my downfall on some occasions though because I think some stuff happened that I should have called people up on but I didn't have the guts to. I need to strike the balance between non-confrontational but still assertive of my right to be treated nicely

- Lose weight
Dream on

- Keep my hair in good conditioning PARTICULARLY by not straightening it very much at all
It is SO MUCH BETTER! It's finally growing! And I didn't straighten it for about 4 months over the summer! Now I'm doing it about once a fortnight and I've stopped putting permanent dye on it too.

- Start thinking seriously about what I want to do after uni
I've applied for 2 jobs if that counts? :P I know what I'd like to do but am not pinning my hopes on one thing.

- Turn 21 in a calm and sensible fashion :D


- Do not get mature. That would be tragic.
As if

- Do something lovely with Stuart for our one year annimaversary (:
We went out for Italian food and had epic sized pizzas with amazing gelato

- Sort out my anxiety issues and just feel less ill and more healthy
Unfortunately not. I need to work on this a lot.

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2012
- Completing the second year of my course
It was brilliant.

- Going to Madeira with my family and Stuart and uncle Warren
Brilliant

- Michael McIntyre with Stuart and his family
Oh yeah! This was also brilliant.

- Green Day American Idiot musical!!!!!
BRILLIANTTT

- NEW YORK
AAHHHHH I HOPE IT'S BRILLIANT

- Losing weight
This would have been brilliant :P

AIMS FOR 2013
- get a First in my degree. Really I'm setting myself up for a 2:1, but if I get a 2:1 I know I'll be devastated, and I'm definitely aiming for a First.
- sort out my anxiety
- continue getting long hair
- after graduation, get a job that I love and that utilises my degree
- stay in contact with my brilliant lecturers
- I just got a text from Amy about an idea for a short film...so it is now an aim to make that short film
- vlog/blog regularly
- move out....this is ambitious and unlikely, but it would be great
- get on better with Jake
- stay with Stuart
- stay best friends with the wonderful Media Arts girls
- sing at the last SMarts acoustic night at uni
- do some travelling

THINGS I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2013
- starting the year in NEW YORK CITY!!!! I can't believe that when I go back to commentate on this next year I'll have already done this when right now it is still a dream!
- my Arts and Culture module
- doing my practical dissertation
- making my Online Broadcasting documentary
- going to our apartment timeshare in Portugal with family and Stuart
- hopefully entering the world as a graduated real life human and hopefully doing well in it and not having a nervous breakdown and quarter-life crisis

So that is my 2012. The latter half was unbelievably good. And it's not even over yet! I feel very lucky and would like to thank all the people who contributed to the brilliant times I have had. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I didn't get a chance to complete this blog and post it at the right time so here it is rather late and I will continue it but in the present tense shortly!

CHAPTER ONE: BIRTHDAY THINGS

On Tuesday night my parents took me and Stuart to my favourite restaurant for my birthday. It's a very fancy seafood restaurant and as a pescetarian, suits me perfectly. I had the most glorious starter which was warm goats cheese on beetroot salad. I was worried that the salad would be all rocket and I don't like rocket so was so happy when it was a mixture of normal lettuce leaves. The slab of goats cheese was incredible and as well as chunks of beetroot it had this delicious beetroot puree drizzled over it...mmmmmmm!!! And and and because I think there must be a Jew somewhere in the business, you get fresh challah rolls with your food! PERFECT. For main course I had baked salmon with hollandaise sauce which was DELISH. We ordered dauphinoise potatoes, gigantic chips and cauliflower cheese as side dishes and it was all just marvellous. For dessert we all had roasted pineapple with caramel sauce and coconut ice cream. Need I say more?

Last night I went for a lovely meal with some of my best friends on my Media course. Nasima's birthday is next week so it was joint for both of us. We went to Bill's which is another of my favourite restaurants. The food is yummy and quirky, and the decor is just adorable and eclectic, such a great atmosphere. Unfortunately I didn't like my risotto because it had CHUNKS OF SAGE IN IT which it transpires taste exactly like how toilet cleaner smells. But my dessert was one of the best I've ever tasted...lemon meringue pie cheesecake!! Layer of buttery biscuit base, layer of cheesecakey moussey cream, layer of lemon curd, scoops of frozen yoghurt and topped with marshmallowy blowtorched meringue! It was GLORIOS!

It was a lovely evening. I feel very sad that we have only just all become close, so near to the end. Typical eh? I only have myself to blame because I felt so low most of last year that I just didn't really talk to or socialise with anyone. So it's my own fault. I just want to make the most of my time with them till we graduate in the spring now.

CHAPTER TWO: DISNEYLAND PARIS

CHAPTER ONE: THE INTERVIEW
On Tuesday me and my OB group went to interview Wil Harris, managing director of ChannelFlip. There's not even really much to say because it went so incredibly smoothly. To be fair, we did a lot of prep, so I feel it was well-deserved. I enjoyed chatting with Wil SO much, everything he had to say was genuinely fascinating for an Internet addict such as myself. The things he does as his career are the things I love as my hobbies, so discussing this with him was invaluable to me. Some of the questions I asked him were off-script and a bit divergent from our documentary title, but I just had to say them! And anyway, that's what editing is for :p I'm very proud of myself because I didn't let any nerves get the better of me, I enjoyed every moment and I'm pleased with how I came across in the footage. I know that it will be cracking stuff for our final project. The others were incredible at teching the whole thing too, they did it PERFECTLY and the main footage couldn't have come out any better. From a job point of view, whether or not I made a good impression I have no idea. I tried to be friendly and casual and funny and nice, but who knows. I feel like torturing myself analysing every word I said is futile, because I don't know what sort of person Wil likes. I can only hope it's me. When I told him I had applied for the job he said I had the right nails to work there (sparkly with multi coloured flowers), so maybe that'll work in my favour! As I said, futile. Just hoping and hoping.

CHAPTER TWO: HOME
On Friday me and Stuart came back to my house, so did Jake, as it's my birthday on Monday (tomorrow now) and the whole family came over yesterday to celebrate. There were:
Mum
Dad
Jake
Grandparents x4
Uncles x3
First cousin
Future aunt
Future first cousin
Second cousins x2
Great aunts x2
Great aunt's boyfriend
Grandma's cousin
Stuart

It was quite something. We had a lovely time and the work mum put into everything was just incredible. I've been telling her for weeks to get it all from Costco and she works from 7.30am to 6.30pm every day, but she made so so much. She did a glorious pescetarian dinner buffet and then she served homemade sparkly cupcakes, lemon and orange Jaffa cakes, pistachio and apricot mousses, Cointreau-soaked melon balls and a personalised Costco birthday cake. That was the only thing she bought in. She even made vol au vents! She's the best mum in the world. It was all delicious. Oh and her piece de resistance was this GLORIOUS vegetarian sweetie platter that she constructed to look like a cake! It was like a dream! I had a great time with all my relatives, they're all so hilarious and barmy and generous and ridiculous. Everything you could want from a family. Genuinely no idea how Stuart copes with them all!

CHAPTER THREE: THINGS TO COME
I mentioned in a previous blog how spectacular November should be. So firstly we had the prize winning ice skating, then there was the interview, then there was my family do, Monday is my actual birthday, and my best friend Samantha's, so we are having our traditional joint meal, Tuesday my parents are taking me and Stuart to my favourite very fancy seafood restaurant, Thursday is the joint birthday meal me and Nasima are having for the media girls as her birthday is just after mine, and Saturday.... I AM GOING TO DISNEYLAND PARIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This will get its own blogpost in the next few days. And then next Wednesday Stuart is taking me for afternoon tea in a posh boutique hotel as my birthday treat! And I also have a surprise of some sort on that day that I don't find out about till Monday...wow!!!!!!!!

As it's 3.19am that is all for now, more details soon! But here's some photos of the food today first. Byeee x

5am isn't fun when you're not watching the US election coverage!

In 5 hours me and my Online Broadcasting group will be off to central London to visit the HQ of the company that I've applied for the job at to interview the CEO for our project. It's 4.36am, and my being awake is not really ideal, but I think I'd have been kidding myself if I believed I would have slept through tonight. I haven't had a good night for about a week now and it wasn't gonna fix itself now. HO HUM.

Yesterday it occurred to me that maybe I was making too much of a big deal about this because after all, it's not like I've got a job or even an interview with them at this point, it might not have even occurred to WH that meeting me today is a mitigating factor, probably NO ONE thinks this is anything other than what is is. Until my lecturer came to give us our filming kit yesterday and before he left the room he said "Isn't it scary that your whole career might ride in tomorrow Jocy!" THANKS LEE, THANKS.

Ever since I tried to DO Media as an actual legitimate career, probably when I went to the Channel 4 open day in 2010, I have been told and told that your personality and just generally how you come across is so important because its a sociable industry, it's more often than not quite laid back and not stiff and starchy. People DO care about what the people they spend time around are like, they want to know that they're going to be bold and unique and fun and generally not annoying and lazy...this is why this is important to me! When WH goes through the CVs and cover letters he will be able to put a face and persona to the words on mine, and if he just point blank didn't like me then I'm going in the bin...only 16 people work at this place, they're not gonna want someone who isn't LIKED. I just want to be liked.

This seems very relevant particularly now given the subject of Charlie's recent vlog about human nature boiling down to us wanting to be liked. With this job, I know I have the skill-set, he can see that from my application, but today I have the opportunity to make myself likeable. That's a lot of pressure, as Charlie says. I'll put a link to his video here when I'm not on my phone.

I think I will try to get a bit more sleep now as I don't want to be yawning through the interview. I made myself a nice little flash card with the questions written on it. Surprisingly I'm not nervous at all really about the actual interview side of it. I think because I have faith in my improvisation ability I kind of just think, well what's the worst that can happen? No one wants to see me do badly and if something goes wrong I can stop and do that bit again. I do love that about editing. I feel a lot less stressed than I ever did about going on stage when I acted. I feel like I have more scope to be myself, because on stage you have to get a portrayal of someone/something PERFECT, and that's really not a thing that happens in real life. On screen I can just be myself and see what happens and keep the best of me in the final cut and put the not so great parts in the recycling bin. That's more like real life in my opinion, because we do stuff wrong and have to learn from it, get over it and then try to be a better version of ourself.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll write another blog later. I wonder what the tone of that one will be!!

Xxx



By the way look at this panorama I did of the tv studio at uni! This was when we did a practise set up this afternoon. I am so ecstatic that this is where I get to do my work...I was never a sit in a lecture theatre sort of person, and this is just what I always dreamed of when I was at school. I saw things like this when I went to uni open days in 2009 and I was so envious of the students looking so in their elements and at home in creative spaces like this, and now I'm one of them! I feel truly lucky.

It's past my bedtime!

I really cannot get to sleep. My brain just will not switch off.

On Tuesday I'm off to London with my aforementioned Online Broadcasting group to interview the CEO (will refer to him as WH) of the aforementioned company that I've applied to work at. The whole thing is actually the biggest coincidence. Basically, I found this job I wanted to apply to and as it was to do with a company that is basically an online broadcaster I went to tell my lecturer Lee about it. And it just so happened that WH is the guy that Lee met up with to pitch the idea of the Online Broadcasting module to earlier in the year, as it's a brand new module and it wanted industry level advice on it before he set it up I think. So this is where the link to my OB project (a documentary about video on demand affecting normal broadcasting schedules) and the job application is. It occurred to me today that ironically, I'm going to be interviewing the CEO - I hope in the not too distant future he will be interviewing me! It's very nerve-wracking. I want us to do Lee proud, I want us to do ourselves proud, and I want to make WH want to employ me. I am so worried about not coming across as my best. But then again I'm confident in my speaking on camera ability, and my self-confidence is rising back to how it was before I started getting anxiety problems last year, and I really feel like I can do well! I just have to make sure that I have confidence on the day, as I know with me that really comes through in my persona.

I'm really worried about what to wear! The last time I was so concerned about putting an outfit together was for my first day of uni. I wanted to look nice, but to show my personality effectively, but to not come across as totally bonkers straight away. My fashion sense is very much so varied, some days I want to be kind of conventional and classic by wearing skinny jeans, pumps and a plain tshirt. But other days I want to wear spotty tights and the jumper my mum knitted my dad in the 80s and my calf high Converses and my Green Day tshirt and my Pikachu skirt. On Tuesday I want to combine these two sides of my dress sense to show that I can be professional, but also that I am unique and interesting and a hoot. I'm thinking black skinny jeans, a blazer of some sort, a colourful top (possibly my purple one with little stars all over) and my high high top bright pink Converse. And of course I'll paint something cool on my nails. Part of me thinks I'm over thinking this but I know myself well enough to know that if I feel confident in the way I look I will be more myself on the day. My self-perception often dictates how I go by day to day things. Maybe that's bad, but I think that's what style has the power to do - develop your sense of self. That's what it means to me anyway.

Maybe I'll be able to sleep now I've typed everything I've been thinking about whilst laying here.

Goodnight all x

Or I could wear this fetching poncho!