It's past my bedtime!

I really cannot get to sleep. My brain just will not switch off.

On Tuesday I'm off to London with my aforementioned Online Broadcasting group to interview the CEO (will refer to him as WH) of the aforementioned company that I've applied to work at. The whole thing is actually the biggest coincidence. Basically, I found this job I wanted to apply to and as it was to do with a company that is basically an online broadcaster I went to tell my lecturer Lee about it. And it just so happened that WH is the guy that Lee met up with to pitch the idea of the Online Broadcasting module to earlier in the year, as it's a brand new module and it wanted industry level advice on it before he set it up I think. So this is where the link to my OB project (a documentary about video on demand affecting normal broadcasting schedules) and the job application is. It occurred to me today that ironically, I'm going to be interviewing the CEO - I hope in the not too distant future he will be interviewing me! It's very nerve-wracking. I want us to do Lee proud, I want us to do ourselves proud, and I want to make WH want to employ me. I am so worried about not coming across as my best. But then again I'm confident in my speaking on camera ability, and my self-confidence is rising back to how it was before I started getting anxiety problems last year, and I really feel like I can do well! I just have to make sure that I have confidence on the day, as I know with me that really comes through in my persona.

I'm really worried about what to wear! The last time I was so concerned about putting an outfit together was for my first day of uni. I wanted to look nice, but to show my personality effectively, but to not come across as totally bonkers straight away. My fashion sense is very much so varied, some days I want to be kind of conventional and classic by wearing skinny jeans, pumps and a plain tshirt. But other days I want to wear spotty tights and the jumper my mum knitted my dad in the 80s and my calf high Converses and my Green Day tshirt and my Pikachu skirt. On Tuesday I want to combine these two sides of my dress sense to show that I can be professional, but also that I am unique and interesting and a hoot. I'm thinking black skinny jeans, a blazer of some sort, a colourful top (possibly my purple one with little stars all over) and my high high top bright pink Converse. And of course I'll paint something cool on my nails. Part of me thinks I'm over thinking this but I know myself well enough to know that if I feel confident in the way I look I will be more myself on the day. My self-perception often dictates how I go by day to day things. Maybe that's bad, but I think that's what style has the power to do - develop your sense of self. That's what it means to me anyway.

Maybe I'll be able to sleep now I've typed everything I've been thinking about whilst laying here.

Goodnight all x

Or I could wear this fetching poncho!

I WON A COMPETITION!!!!!!

Before the other day, the only time I've ever done well in a competition is when in year 10 me and Becca and Eleanor wrote a poem in French called Poeme de Poubelle about a wheely bin who lived in Paris. We entered it into a national competition and came runners up and got to perform it at this fancy venue in London. We took our French teacher Mr Goodman (who I also found out was my cousin by marriage in year 9, awkward) and out mums, and we wore berets and read the poem to a big group of people. I remember feeling really narked about the girls who won, because they had written this song and it wasn't even good, they only won because they made up a bloody dance routine to go with it!!!!!!!!

I digress.

The other day Starbucks tweeted a photo of a red cup in a PLACE. And they said that if you guessed the location you could win tickets to go ice skating at the Natural History Museum. GOD ALONE KNOWS (well actually, no) how I knew it was Edinburgh Castle, but by jove I knew it. I've never been to Edinburgh Castle. I've never even been to Edinburgh. I've only been to Scotland once, and that was for two hours. BUT I JUST KNEW IT WAS EDINBURGH CASTLE. I to this very day have no recollection of ever seeing a photo of it before, but I must have done, because I knew that was what it looked like. Anyway, I won the tickets! HOORAH! It's very satisfying adding ice skating tickets to your basket on ticketmaster and then entering a special code and seeing the cost go from £61.00 to £00.00 :D

So that's exciting.

Another exciting thing is that I am really starting to love Adobe Illustrator. When I first started my Advanced Digital Imaging module I DETESTED it, I just COULD NOT DO IT, it made me want to curl up and cry. But in the last couple of weeks it has CLICKED because I've been practising lots, and this is something I did yesterday that I am proud of.

I'M SO PROUD :D

It's not perfect, but I think it is very good (if I do say so myself) and I think the colours and effects I used really reflect the quote, and Einstein's persona too. LOVELY :D

November could quite possibly be spectacular

CHAPTER ONE
I really have NO IDEA what this month is going to bring, but I have a feeling it's going to be good. I started my November in McClusky's of all places (pretty grimy club that I have refused to step foot in since January 2011) dressed up as a cat with some of my friends, who were dressed up as 3 generic zombies, a swan and dead Harry Potter. So hopefully November started as it means to go on. Although I'd probably prefer that I don't have to walk for 20 minutes at 1.30am in a 6 degree torrential downpour with no sleeves again.

CHAPTER TWO
Today my Online Broadcasting group is meeting to do a practise interview for when we meet Mr CEO of the Ultimate Dream Job company IN NINE DAYS. I'm not gonna lie, I'm shitting it. But I'm also very excited because I love my group and the best thing about it is that they all know how important this is to me, and they are being so amazing and encouraging about it, and are also putting up with my incessant ramblings/panic about it. I am very lucky to have such supportive people around me, because my main fear when I have to do group work is getting lumped with people who don't care. This is definitely not the case with them.

CHAPTER ONE REPRISE
Last night in the club made me really conscious of time. Last time I was there I was a fresher and I recognised everyone in the club pretty much because my uni is tiny, you know pretty much everyone in your year at least by face if not by name. Every time I'd turn I'd see someone to say hello to. Though last night, I must have seen about 6//7 people if that. It also stood out a lot when we were queuing to get in. The main (decent) club in the town had a fatal stabbing last week so it is now shut, so McClusky's was PACKED. But whilst we queued I didn't see a single person I knew (aside from Olivia who crops up everywhere bless her) and I just felt OLD. How rubbish is that. I still had a great night, but I was pining for first year when it was all new and exciting but also so familiar. This year I just kept looking at the people I was with (Tall, New, Della, James Harry Potter Peach and Stuart) and feeling upset that in 6 months it will all be over and it's gone too fast and I'm not ready to not be around them anymore. Too many of my blogs are about this. But too much of my time is spent thinking about it.

CHAPTER TWO REPRISE
I need to email Mr CEO's PA today to make our Official Appointment to interview him. As I'm the Project Coordinator. This is a thing that I am.

CHAPTER TWO EPILOGUE
I wanted to talk about some of the other cool things I am doing in November but I just remembered that last night Della accidentally tipped a drink down the left side of my head, so I need to go and wash my hair. I feel like being tall can be problematic for that reason in a club: people tend to walk with the drink above their head when they travel from one place to another, meaning that if that person is average height then my head is very close to the drink. Ho hum.

Who'd have known tomato soup was so hilarious?

Yesterday between 4pm and 6pm has made it onto my hypothetical list of Greatest Two Hour Slots Of Time Ever.

It was my Online Broadcasting lecture, which is exciting to start with because online broadcasting is a thing that I have done for a lot of my life, in the form of blogging, vlogging, tweeting et cetera. So the fact that I have now taken this beloved hobby of mine into an academic environment, much less my Actual University Degree is basically a dream come true. Really, what more could I ask for?

Here are all the good/funny things that happened in yesterday's specifica Online Broadcasting class.

1. We found out that we are definitely interviewing the CEO of a company for the documentary we have to make and present for our final project. This company also happens to be the company that the Ultimate Dream Job I have applied to is with. I'm interviewing the man who is going to decide whether to employ me or not. Absolutely terrifying, but also an opportunity that not many people get. I just hope and pray and wish that I make a good impression. I have only 14 days till the interview, so basically AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2. We found out the assignment for the lesson was to take the camera, sound and lighting gear to 2 different locations in the uni and conduct 2 interviews in these places. Content wasn't too important, but the tech had to be spot on. One of the locations was a huge drawing room (our uni is also a gothic castle, casual). We struggled to find it initially (imagine 5 people traipsing around a university carrying a huge film camera, a huge tripod, 3-point lighting set up, a boom mic, powerpack and headphones) and eventually we arrived at a door that Chloe was sure was the room. She peaked in but there was just a man sitting there, so we figured it was the wrong place. There was a door next to that room that she and Aaron were sure MUST be the room, but the door wouldn't open. So we're trying to open it and it just won't budge, and suddenly I hear a CHAIN FLUSH and I'm like "GUYS THAT IS AN OCCUPIED TOILET!" and Aaron is like, "Naaaah you don't get a toilet without a sign" so starts BANGING ON THE DOOR and suddenly from the room we hear this lady say, "You do know this is a toilet right?" so we all nearly collapsed laughing, apologised profusely and then found out the original room was the correct place.

3. The interview in the drawing room went very well, except for the fact we set up in 3 different locations to accommodate the fact that the background was busy, the lighting was dodgy and we had no extension cable. We then found out that we did have an extension cable, so we went back to the original place we wanted to film but had to discard because we thought we couldn't plug the equipment in.

4. We then had to go for the second interview in a tiny office. Here we were interviewing Otis, who teaches us. Whilst the others were setting up (I was the interviewer so I got to sit) me and Otis were chatting about dried fruit (don't ask) and Simon said that he had Heinz tomato soup for lunch. So I said "I really don't like Heinz tomato soup" to which Otis looked ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED and said "Woah now, don't tell my mother that, she would actually kill you" so I then went into hysterics and whilst I'm wheezing in the corner Otis carries on, "She's indoctrinated my daughter as well, I've never mentioned soup to her and she suddenly starts asking for tomato soup, her grandma is brainwashing her. I'll try to save you but honestly, she gets violent when people don't like tomato soup" by which point I am basically on the floor laughing, makeup all over my face, can't breathe properly, and then I have to conduct an interview. Whilst I was laughing hysterically and Otis was ranting about his mother's (rather vicious) love for tomato soup, it turns out the head of Media is standing in the doorway waiting to ask Otis a question, but neither of us notice that he's there, we're just in fits of laughter talking about tomato soup keeping him waiting. One of the most ridiculous moments of my university career.

5. The interviews themselves went quite well I feel. It was the first time I've done improvisation like that in a very long time, but I was very pleased with myself. I got compliments on improvisation and on my speaking, and Otis said he was very impressed at how I went from nearly dead on the floor to completely composed and serious as soon as I needed to be. I'm not gonna lie, that isn't always the case, but it's definitely something I've improved a lot on since A Level Theatre Studies!!

6. I absolutely love the group I have in Online Broadcasting. Bearing in mind we have to create a 30 minute documentary together, and then present it live, I feel it's important that we get on well, trust each other and are like-minded when it comes to getting work done. All these things are definitely the case, and I'm so lucky I've got them. We have so many laughs (as you may have picked up on from this blog) but we get the job done, and our finished interviews were pretty much spot on! I'm proud of us and I'm so pleased I get to work with them till April.

I know the time will go really quickly and one day I'll read this back and I'll be a graduate and I won't be able to believe it's over, but for now I'm grateful that I've got a few months left. I'm also grateful that I love my degree so much, as I know I'm lucky to have this. Third year is so much fun, I don't want it to end very soon at all ):

Six chapters

CHAPTER ONE: The Job

It has been 3 days since I applied for The Job. I sometimes forget about it and then
when I remember I can think of little else for hours. The closing date for applications isn't till October 31st so it's going to be a while yet before I hear anything, if anything. Ohgod it just occurred to me that if I don't get it they might not let me know! How long is acceptable to wait till you contact them enquiring?!?! Ohmygod I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner!!!! SO MANY WORST CASE SCENARIOS!!!!!!!!


CHAPTER TWO: Pilates

Something that I have started doing this semester is Pilates. Me and Amy wanted to do yoga ideally, but the classes at our gym coincided with lectures, so we chose Pilates instead. It's a lot harder than you'd imagine, but strangely calming. Or maybe that's just because of the zen-balancing music they play. Or the fact that a lot of it is done laying down on a comfy mat. Believe it or not, it IS exercise.

CHAPTER THREE: Geriatric Musings

It's my birthday soon. Which is utterly terrifying. I started this blog when I was 16 years old, and now I'm about to turn 21. I was re-reading old blogs the other day, seeing the transition from GCSE panic, to sixth form to starting university. It's interesting how some things haven't changed at all, and other things are a whole new kettle of fish. Ultimately though I believe I have kept at least SOME of my "essence" (how disgustingly contrived that sounds hahaha) so that's reassuring. I still wear a lot of the same clothes from when I was a lot younger, such as the Converse All Stars I got when I was 14 (7 years ago!!!!!!!!!!) and my Green Day hoodie that I got when I was 15. Some things never change.

CHAPTER FOUR: Afternoon Tea

Speaking of my birthday, Stuart has organised some sort of surprise for me the week after. He has forbidden me from asking questions, and I know nothing other than that it is in the late afternoon of November 28th. I know this because he asked me if I wanted to go for a meal as a birthday treat but I said that we often go for a meal, and could we please go for afternoon tea instead? He thought it was a lovely idea (although that might just be because I read him the patisserie list at the hotel I wanted to go to for it!) and booked it for me as a special extra treat (: How nice is that! I love afternoon tea; I love how quaint it is and I love sarnies and scones and I LOVE desserts with a burning passion. I've been to a couple of afternoon teas before (at the Ritz and the Savoy no less) so I am very excited about that. It's almost a good thing turning 21 by the look of things!

CHAPTER FIVE: Degree

I've started really getting my head down with my uni work this semester now. I've started an essay that is due in at the end of November and I'm plodding on with my huge portfolio for my Advanced Digital Imaging. Not to mention my dissertation prep, which is now underway. I felt out of my depth and panicked, but then my tutor told me that I'm actually very ahead with my development, so that was reassuring.

CHAPTER SIX:

Shower and hairwash time soon, then bed. Whilst I'm doing that, enjoy these photos from my afternoon tea at the Savoy. Me and my brother took my nana and grandpa earlier in the year to thank them for being wonderful relatives. It was a lovely afternoon. Jocy xxx

Ageing up

SOMEHOW it turned into halfway through semester one of my final year at university.

It turns out that a part of final year is working out how to transition into a real life human. Unfortunately, it does not involve being surrounded by stars and sparkles, doing a spin in the air and morphing into a taller person in different clothes. This is only the case in the Sims.

What it does include is applying for jobs. I've had part time jobs since I was 15, and my friends who didn't go to university have had full time jobs for a few years now. But I've been in the glorious bubble that is full time education, and the time is coming for the bubble to burst and for me to be exposed to the Outside World.

The other day, October 18th, I found an advertisement for my Ultimate Dream Job. You know when someone suggests something, and you'd like to do that thing loads, and you get all excited and squirmy inside and you just want to DO IT NOW, like when someone tells you you're going on holiday or when you have tickets to see your favourite band. I read this job opening and that's how I felt. Every single line of the ad, every single requirement for the role, every detail just consumed me with a squishy feeling I usually only associate with the prospect of cheesecake. I just want this job SO BADLY. It encompasses everything I love to do, everything I've loved to do since I was 15 years old, everything I think I am good at. I keep re-reading the ad and sometimes I believe with every fibre of my being that there is no other person on this planet Earth that is more perfectly suited to the job than I am. And other times I am enveloped in the fear that someone else will apply who is better than me. But mostly I just feel that if I was given the opportunity, I could be the absolutely best person for this job that they could possibly imagine, and that I'd do everything in my power to get to this point. And sometimes I feel sad because I truly don't think I could ever feel as excited about a job as I feel about this one. I feel like this is the Job For Me, and that even jobs I've previously been interested in and intrigued by pale in comparison.

On Monday I'm applying for this job.

I'm terrified, excited, determined, confident, self-doubting and thrilled by this prospect. But most of all, I'm convinced that I am the right person for the job and that I could truly do it justice.








PS I just looked back and on September 2nd I wrote in a blog that I needed to work out what I want to do with my adult life. THIS JOB IS WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY ADULT LIFE.

Fantasia

Tomorrow (later today) I am going to see Disney Fantasia: Live in Concert at the Royal Albert Hall with my nana and grandpa.

One of my strongest memories as a small child is spending time at my grandparents' house. Whenever I was there I would watch Fantasia with them, as nana and grandpa loved classical music and I loved Disney. Actually, I don't remember if I liked Disney before I saw Fantasia, so really I expect it was my first introduction to Disney. But I loved it from thereon. I loved the dancing mushrooms during the Nutcracker Suite. I was scared of the Sorcerer's Apprentice because Mickey Mouse always looked so terrified, and this used to really disturb me. I remember even at a very young age thinking how real the fear in his eyes looked, even though I knew it was an animation. To this day I still marvel at the way Disney put emotions into their animations' eyes. I used to get a bit bored by all the bits with the fairies, as I was never really interested in fairies or princesses. But I remember loving the part when the Winter fairies came and everything they touched turned to frost. THE HIPPOS! I just remembered the incredible ballerina hippos. AND OSTRICHES.

I'm really looking forward to seeing Fantasia Live. Largely because I'm going with nana and grandpa, who provided me with my first ever experiences of both Disney and classical music.