Theatre Studies.

January was so good. I had some amazing times:
*New Year
*Young Americans
*Weekend with Joe & Ross
*Toby Carvery
See, pretty much every weekend in January was perfect.

I'm two (three technically) days into February. I spent the 1st and 2nd at one of the top ten universities in the country doing an interview, workshop and devised piece. I beat around 400 people to get to even this stage of the admissions process, so even if I don't get an offer I will still be proud of myself. But yesterday during the devised piece I really questioned Theatre Studies A Level. It's definitely my favourite subject, I really enjoy it and always have done. But seeing the devised pieces of 8 groups of students from all over the UK with potentially NOTHING in common aside from studying Theatre Studies A Level made me feel very off about it. Everyone's work was totally different. But everyone's work was SO similar. Yes we were asked to pull in techniques we learnt in the workshops on Monday so obviously some similarities were inevitable. But it was all so...unvaried. I love drama. But I want to be doing something totally different with it. I'm absolutely grateful that I have the skills that I have and I wouldn't change that for anything. But do I want to go on to university to do another three years of being taught things the way the structure says they have to be taught? I don't think I do. I want to take what I know already and build upon it in my own way. I want to take my YouTube channel places using the transferable skills like communication, vocal techniques, characterisation and eloquence that I learnt during Theatre Studies A Level. I want to take it from here by myself. Even if it's just for a year so that I can experiment. Maybe one day in the future I'll want to study Drama again; I'm sure I will. Because I love it. But I need a break to do my own thing with it. What I'm going to do with it, who knows? I have ideas.

0 - CRAP in less than 2 minutes.

Joe says: (20:59:43)
BOYS LIKE GIRLS DATES ANNOUNCED
Joe says: (20:59:43)
GETTING TICKETS NOW
Jocy says: (20:59:50)
OHMYGOID
Jocy says: (20:59:51)
WHERE
Jocy says: (20:59:52)
WHEN
Jocy says: (20:59:53)
OHMYGOD
Jocy says: (20:59:54)
aDGJALGMADKGAD
Jocy says: (20:59:55)
WHERE
Jocy says: (20:59:57)
OHMYGOD
Jocy says: (21:00:00)
WHERE
Jocy says: (21:00:01)
WHERE
Jocy says: (21:00:02)
WHERE
Jocy says: (21:00:03)
WHERE
Joe says: (21:00:03)
monday 15th of feb
Jocy says: (21:00:07)
OHMYGOD
Joe says: (21:00:07)
o2 islington
Jocy says: (21:00:09)
OHMYGOD
Jocy says: (21:00:11)
OHMYGOD
Jocy says: (21:00:12)
NO
Jocy says: (21:00:12)
NO
Jocy says: (21:00:13)
NO
Joe says: (21:00:13)
THATS SO CLOSE
Jocy says: (21:00:14)
NO
Jocy says: (21:00:14)
NO
Jocy says: (21:00:15)
NO
Jocy says: (21:00:16)
NO
Jocy says: (21:00:17)
IM
Jocy says: (21:00:18)
GOING
Jocy says: (21:00:18)
TO
Jocy says: (21:00:19)
KILL 
Joe says: (21:00:19)
WHAT!?
Jocy says: (21:00:20)
MYSELF
Jocy says: (21:00:27)
im crying
Jocy says: (21:00:29)
ACTUALLY CRYING
Jocy says: (21:00:34)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Joe says: (21:00:41)
WHAY!?!?!
Jocy says: (21:00:48)
SKI
Jocy says: (21:00:49)
TRIP
Jocy says: (21:00:52)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Jocy says: (21:00:55)
FUCK
Jocy says: (21:00:56)
MY
Joe says: (21:00:56)
WTF
Jocy says: (21:00:57)
LIFE
Jocy says: (21:01:02)
FUCKMYLIFE
Joe says: (21:01:04)
OMG I'M GONA HAVE TO GO ALONE :@
Joe says: (21:01:11)
i refuse to go with anyone else
Jocy says: (21:01:18)
IM SO GUTTED
Jocy says: (21:01:22)
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GUTTED I AM
Jocy says: (21:01:29)
THERE MUST BE ANOTHER ONE
Jocy says: (21:01:33)
THEY CANT ONLY DO ONE
Jocy says: (21:01:34)
THEY CANT
Jocy says: (21:01:37)
NOT WHILST IM SKIING
Jocy says: (21:01:40)
HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO ME
Jocy says: (21:01:40)
HOW
Jocy says: (21:01:47)
WE'VE BEEN EXCITED ABOUT THIS FOR A YEAR
Jocy says: (21:01:53)
ITS A YEAR TOMORROW SINCE THE LAST GIG
Jocy says: (21:01:57)
AND I AM IN FUCKING AUSTRIA
Joe says: (21:01:59)
14th + 15th
Joe says: (21:02:00)
london
Jocy says: (21:02:09)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:09)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:10)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:11)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:11)
THEY
Jocy says: (21:02:12)
CANT
Jocy says: (21:02:13)
DO
Jocy says: (21:02:14)
THIS
Jocy says: (21:02:14)
TO
Jocy says: (21:02:15)
ME
Joe says: (21:02:26)
one of thems an acoustic gig aswell
Jocy says: (21:02:29)
SHUTUP
Jocy says: (21:02:30)
OHMYGOD
Jocy says: (21:02:32)
OHMYGOD
Jocy says: (21:02:32)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:33)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:34)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:34)
NO
Jocy says: (21:02:41)
IM SHAKING
Jocy says: (21:02:42)
LITERALLY
Jocy says: (21:02:44)
OHMYGOD
Joe says: (21:02:59)
oh ffs -_-
Joe says: (21:03:03)
i cant believe this

The last two weeks have flown by so unbelievably fast.

I'm glad and not glad about this.

Ugh I'm getting so stressed out again! It's frustrating me because I know it will turn out fine, I just don't know what the route to fine is. And whatever the route, I can't be bothered with it. I want to skip all this and just KNOW what I'm doing.

BRIGHT SIDE:
Got a few really really cool/interesting/hopefully funny video ideas for my YouTube :D Am gonna take it a bit more seriously this year. By that I don't mean my videos are going to be serious, I just mean that I intend for there to be more to them than me talking to my camera about my day. Not saying I'm gonna be busting out scripts and plans, just that I want to create some stuff that I can watch back and be proud of.

My January has been MAD so far.

It has been a very long time since I last blogged.

New Year was rather perfect. I don't want to give you a blow by blow account of it because to be frank, you wouldn't find it interesting. But it was one of those days/evenings/nights/mornings that just WORKED.

The first week or so of 2010 was brilliant. I felt on top of the world, excited about uni, just generally optimistic about life.

Then things took a turn.

Rofl. I think we now need some atmospheric lighting, dramatic music and melodramatic facial expressions.

Basically, my motivation vanished. I started doing really badly at school and just being damn lazy. Things had started going downhill before Christmas but I just thought it was a blip. But after I went back it became evident that nothing and no one would make me work for my January exams. I know it's bad when it comes to Joe nagging me to work. Don't get me wrong, Joe is one of the hardest workers I know, but usually I'M the massive geek, so when he's like "Go and revise -_-" I know I need to go and revise. But I just COULDN'T.

Basically what happened was that when I was absolutely intent on going to Royal Holloway for uni my motivation was FULL STEAM AHEAD because the thought of getting the grades and going there was the light at the end of a very long and dark tunnel that is school. But then, I started considering Kent. Because I didn't have a specific goal in sight, I felt like I had nowhere to work towards, so I just stopped working. Subconciously, I realise it was because I hoped that if I didn't get the grades then I wouldn't have to make a decision between them because I would have just got handed a place at a worse uni. I know this is a ridiculous outlook, but I am just REALLY REALLY bad at decision making.

Anyway. Last Saturday, my mum got my school report. To say it was BAD would be an understatement. Yeah, the teacher feedback was fine. But my predicted grades had gone down from As to Bs and Cs. As you can imagine, mother went a tad ballistic. And then she asked the question that changed EVERYTHING. She said "Are you getting cold feet about uni?" And I thought about. Two weekends before my parents had left me and Jake home alone for the first time and I hated it. I literally did not know where I wanted to be at uni. And I had stopped enjoying drama lessons, the subject I had applied to do at uni. The short answer is Yes, yes I was getting cold feet about uni.

I do what I always do in a time of crisis and I went on MSN to talk to Joe. And we talked it through and he helped me to realise that I'm really not ready to go to uni yet as I don't know where I want to be or what I want to do. And the more I thought about the more I realised that drama is a bad idea. I only applied for drama because I figured that I will never make it as a TV presenter and that drama is a good thing to have to fall back on. And then I realised that that is a TERRIBLE attitude. It is my aspiration to be a TV presenter, so I'm bloody well gonna try and be a TV presenter. I'm not going to make "last resort" decisions "just in case" it doesn't work out. Television is an industry where it is all about WHO you know and not WHAT you know. So I am taking a year out, getting some work experiece and hopefully gaining some contacts whilst chucking my name out there. I'm reapplying for university in 2011 when I know what I want to study.

As soon as I made this decision, my motivation came back. I had really missed my geeky self.

GENERIC BLOG.

So he is my annual blog in which I show you the aims I made at the end of last year for this year and evaluate whether or not I met them or not. I will also review the things I was looking forward to at the start of this year.


AIMS FOR 2009
- Get 900 subscribers on my YouTube account, www.youtube.com/AccioJellyBean
Yes and I surpassed it by around 60! Very pleased and flattered and such :D
- Get all my target grades in my AS so I can go on Ski Trip 2010
No and yes. I didn't get my target grades but I am going on Ski Trip 2010 :D
- Get offers for all the unis I apply for
YES! Not Exeter but I haven't had my audition with them yet. So I'm counting this as a YES :D
- See Green Day
YES YES YES I FINALLY GOT TO SEE GREEN DAY!
- Be nicer to people I don't like because this is the mature way to behave
No. It may be the mature way to behave but it is also boring and two-faced.
- Be REALLY nice to people who don't like me because this pisses them off a lot
No. Just no.
- Be nicer to people in general
Possibly.
- Don't fall asleep in a cinema (deja vu)
WOOHOO! Check :D
- Join a gym
LOLOLOLOL No.
- Go to said gym regularly
Hahahaha
- Lose some weight
I did! But then I put it back on.
- Get work experience, preferably at a radio station or TV channel
No ):
- Don't have a nervous breakdown on my 18th birthday
I only cried for 15 minutes so I think that's pretty good
- Get into the Christmas spirit
I tried. I failed.

I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2009
- Princess Diaries Ten Out Of Ten
Yeah it was okay.
- Ski Trip
AMAZING
- Young Americans
AMAZING
- Greece trip
AMAZING
- Summer holiday
AMAZING
- Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (it can't be possible for Warner Brothers to get any worse)
Fairly okay.


So yes, from that it appears my 2009 was rather a success.


AIMS FOR 2010
- Get 1200 subscribers on my YouTube account
- Get into my first choice university
- Go to my first choice university
- Make amazing friends at my first choice university
- Keep in touch with my old friends
- See Donny and Marie in Las Vegas
- Do well in my A2s
- Get an iPhone
- Learn how to use my Nikon D5000 properly
- Learn how to use ovens
- LOSE! WEIGHT!

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2010
- Spending the early hours of January 1st with awesome people.
- Young Americas
- Ski Trip 2010
- Seeing Mika with Eliot :D
- Going to the West Coast of the U S of A
- University
- HP & the DH film
- The Hunger Games part 3

I might come back and add more tomorrow.

This week.

This week has just been totally bizarre.

On Monday night I was zooming down country lanes in a car with a new friend in the early hours of the morning. Uncharacteristic of Jocy? Yep.

On Wednesday night I presented the school Christmas show for the fourth and final year. It was fun but possibly a tad anti-climactic, and made me realise that I'm not going to miss my school.

On Thursday night I got an offer from a university that I KNOW I completely showed myself up at. God knows what their criteria is, but I shall NOT be going there, that's fo shizzle.

And today we had a lot of snow but our school remained open (the only one that did in the area) because we have stubborn senior staff who made right idiots of themselves.

So everything from this week has kind of culminated into a big WHATTHEFUG and now I'm kind of dazed and zoned out for want of getting my head around everything.

I'm just so ecstatic that I now know I only have one term left at my school and then I will be done FOREVER. And I can forget the past two years and MOVE ON. It's a beautiful prospect! Although at this precise moment in my life I am pretty sure that I'm not going to get into university. WHICH REMINDS ME! I need to apply to work at Disney World for next September. I'm going to do that now.

December 4th 2009

I just watched the first ever trailer for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows for the first ever time.

Seeing "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" in the HP font at the end of the trailer for the first time is just INSANE. I remember when I first saw "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" in the very same font for the first time 8 years ago.

I can't even put into words how I'm now feeling.

http://video.the-leaky-cauldron.org/video/1404