Firstly...HOW DID ANY OF THIS HAPPEN?! Like seriously. Some things happened this year that I honest to god would not have thought possible in a MONTH OF SUNDAYS. Ps where does that saying come from? I'm quoting the grandpa in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, but seriously that makes no sense. I know what he means though, and it is also what I mean.
Back to it. WHAT THE HELL. HOW. WHY. Ugh. I'm not complaining, but I'm just really not comprehending. I think for my own sake I need to write this down, because it's a mush in my head. Let's give this some order.
FIRST THING:
Jocy Got A Boyfriend Who She Loves To Absolute Pieces And Who Loves Her This Much Back
I am not going to do a poor little me act, because I've never worried about boys not liking me, or even particularly thought that boys didn't like me. But whilst my friends were worrying about GETTING boys to like them I really couldn't be bothered and I was of the mentality that when it happened it would happen. I just didn't think I was correct.
But lo and behold, I was. Circumstantially, me and Stuart even crossing paths was so unlikely that it genuinely terrifies me to think about. He had trouble hearing back from our uni, I applied totally last minute, I didn't get a place in Halls till a week before moving in and prior to that I didn't even APPLY for the Halls I eventually DID get put in. Stuart is doing sport, I'm doing media. There is NO WAY IN HELL that we would have met if it wasn't for the PURE CHANCE that we were placed down the same corridor. This terrifies me. Everything is so freaking unlikely, and when amazing stuff happens there is more of chance that it wouldn't have happened. Maybe this is why every day of my life I can't believe I'm with Stuart. Or maybe it's because he is quite literally everything I have ever heard any of my girl friends wish they had in a boyfriend. I'm just so unbelievably lucky, that's all there is to it, it is pure categorical luck that we met, and that makes it even more bloomin' incredible.
SECOND THING:
Not Drinking Is Still Proving To Be An Obstacles With Friendships
I've grown apart from some uni people this year. There is NO WAY I would be arrogant enough as to claim it is no one's fault, because of course it is. We are all busy, and it is so much harder to keep in contact outside of Halls, especially when we are scattered over a few miles. But they all see eachother when they go out clubbing or drinking, and I DESPISE these pursuits. Granted, when I was at school it actually lost me friends whereas now it just makes it harder to relate to people, and for them to relate to me. But I am baffled by the fact that it's still somewhat of a downfall. It feels a bit unfair. But I know I'm the minority. But I really did think that as I got older the novelty of alcohol and parties would wear off for people. How naive of me. I'm not slating anyone who likes this stuff, I just can't believe that it's still getting in the way of other thought processes in my brain.
THIRD THING:
Jocy And Joe Are Not Really Anything Anymore
Let me tell you this for a fact, if it were up to me, Joe would still be my best friend. Because ultimately I really couldn't give a flying fart how much he annoyed me, there is nothing he could do that was bad enough for me to not want him in my life anymore. Unfortunately this is not an outlook he shared (though I'd be lying if I said I thought he didn't think like this up until this all happened). What adds insult to injury is that I feel the FALL-OUT was entirely unjustified. And then there was the whole Facebook message in which he told me we shouldn't talk for a while and 3 days later he had deleted me off Facebook. I guess not talking for a while didn't actually mean not talking for a while, it meant he didn't want any contact with me ever again. Which is pretty hurtful and was without a doubt the worst thing that happened to me this year. Or in maybe quite a few years. I never thought this would happen. Ugh I do not want to get upset now but how can I not be? I don't want to not be friends with him anymore. I have some of my best memories with him, and I just want him back if I'm totally honest. I planned on this section being all like "Ho hum, c'est la vie" but as much as this IS life, this is also unbelievably shit. I kind of feel like he's died, because he's not in my life anymore as anything other than a memory. That's what death is to the people left behind. I'm bloody glad he's not dead, which I did text him to tell him last month (he didn't reply), but I wish he was still ALIVE IN MY LIFE for want of a less cliche phrase. In the unlikely event that he reads this (he's unfollowed me from everything he originally followed me on) I would quite like him to know that I miss the hell out of him and as much as I'm fairly furious at how this whole situation was dealt with, I'd have never been the one to throw him away.
FOURTH THING:
Jocy Moved Into A Flat
For 18 years I lived with my parents. Then for a year I lived in a protective bubble on campus. Now I live in a flat, with a rent, without supervision of any kind. There isn't much to say about this other than APOGDSHFJKGF
Okay well I thought there would be more things to this but it turns out there's not. I think this explains the general gist of my brain round about now. We can summarise this in 4 concise points:
1. JOCY LOVES STUART LOADS
2. JOCY STILL DOESN'T LIKE ALCOHOL
3. JOE DOESN'T LIKE JOCY
4. JOCY HAS FLAT
Good night and merry holidays x
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