YouTube made me so happy for so many years; it gave me such confidence and such a sense of identity. I now feel like it's being snatched away from me, I find myself wondering if it was ever a good idea from the start.
A couple of months ago my partnership was taken away from me. I only knew because I launched the homepage one day to find a banner inviting me to apply. So obviously I thought "But I already am one", and then upon going to my Channel (banners missing) and logging on to AdSense (partnership withdrawal email) I realised that this had been taken from me.
I was never a Partner for the money. Which was lucky, because I never got any as the closed my account £10 short of the amount when they post me a cheque. No, I applied to be a partner because of the recognition and notability. I was so proud to be considered worthy, as I knew the application process could be difficult. I was so elated to get it first time and I made my family and friends proud. Not only that, I put it on my CV and university applications, and talked about it at job interviews. I never failed a single one, and I always felt that being a YouTube partner was a big contribution to that. Everyone has heard of YouTube, and I felt so, so proud.
I had wanted to be a TV presenter for years. I did work experience and extra-curricular projects to help me along, and being a Partner filled me with belief that I stood out a tiny bit from all the others who wanted the same career. I told a group of 300 like-minded students about it on a day at Channel 4's HQ in which we were finding out about the industry and work experience prospects. Everyone was so impressed and I had adults and teens alike asking me about it for the rest of the day. I was proud, and I was hopeful that one day I'd succeed at what I really wanted to do.
Things have changed now I'm not a YouTube partner. I'm sure I had the privilege taken from me for economic reasons that the company unfairly have, but I have taken it very personally. I vlogged avidly for 4 years, attended YouTube gatherings, made friends and encouraged more people to vlog. I used my Partnership to aid my future career, and to better my current prospects. What more could I have done with it? I used it in the most worthy way I could. And it was snatched from me. I no longer stand out in this way, I am just another student who wants to be on TV. My confidence feels knocked, as for the first time in my life I am doubting my future career. I was so determined and set on what I wanted, and now realism has shrouded that and I am very much aware that I need to rethink. I don't know how to make a vlog that's true to myself, because for the first time since I began my video hobby, I feel a hatred for YouTube. I feel a hatred that they've made me doubt myself, fear that I won't succeed, and removed my sense of belonging of such a lovely group. I don't know if I want to go to the Harry Potter premiere with my YouTube friends, because I don't know if I can bear to be around them knowing that the site doesn't consider me as worthy as last time I was with them all.
Harry Potter is what introduced me to the world of vlogging on YouTube, and I don't know if I can stand being around the people who saw me start off in 2007, because in all honesty I just feel ashamed.
I feel like I'm going through such a crisis. I feel like opportunities are vanishing before my eyes (such as the NextUp competition YouTube are hosting to find new talent, that is only open to Partners) and I feel like a different person.
I hate YouTube for doing this to me.
4 comments:
I suppose part of the problem was your low view count and lack of regular uploads, so someone took a snap decision to remove you.
If you do any amount of research on the topic you will find that thousands of people had their Partnerships taken away as they were approaching the time when AdSense had to pay out for the revenue they had earned.
PS, grow some balls and don't leave anonymous comments in the future.
What I said still stands though.
I don't have an account and I'm not going to make one.
ohhhh man i can understand that that must SUCK. sorry :/
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