09: a post on your biggest insecurity, and why you feel that way.

I don't know what my biggest insecurity is.

I go through phases in which I think it's my body. And that I'm the fattest person in the world. And that I'm really ugly. And unphotogenic. And just generally hideously unattractive. But then most of the time I feel fine about my body; that yes, I could be thinner. But that I'm by no stretch of the imagination obese gigantic. That of course there's girls that are prettier than me, but that I could also look much, much worse.

Sometimes, I think my biggest insecurity is my personality. That I'm too loud and too annoying and too weird and too interested in silly things that people don't care about and that people are always talking about me and that no boy will ever fancy me. But most of the time I feel confident in my personality; that yes, I'm quirky and have different interests to lots of people, but that there's also many who think I'm a bit cool. To be honest I do actually feel...dare I say it...SECURE in my personality. I know that I don't go out of my way to upset people. I know that I enjoy making people laugh and helping my friends with their problems and I know that I make friends easily and I know that people like to be around me. Obviously, personality is a matter of taste, and there will be lots of people who don't like the sort of person I am, but I know I have lots of amazing friends who do.

So what's my biggest insecurity?

I suppose my biggest insecurity is the fact that my brain is temperamental. I worry constantly that the happiness I feel at the moment won't last. I'm not yet used to the carefree-ness I feel at the moment to entirely relax, because I always have the back at my mind that things might go back to how they once were.