Thursday, 20 May 2010

Unwelcome changes.

After a 5 month hoohar I have finally got an offer from a uni I want to go to on a course I want to do with do-able grade requirements. I wanted this so much and I am very happy, but it's going to take some time to get used to.

I really had thought for the past 5 months that I was going to do a gap year. And as a result of this I'd mentally prepared myself for this, made plans and let myself get excited.

After hearing from the university yesterday, I was initially euphoric, on top of the world. And then I got reality checks. Realising that I'm not going to be able to see my best friend twice a week anymore and realising that I'm not going to have my bedroom to go to whenever I want. Reality checks about how I'm going to now be spending my free time after September and reality checks about who I'll be spending my time with.

I'm finding it really hard getting my head around all of this. It's horribly bittersweet because I honestly did put up such a fight to get to this point UCAS-wise, so obviously I'm thrilled to bits that I finally got to where I want to be. But it is so, so hard for me to get my head around how severe and significant the changes are going to be.

I wish I could have my cake and eat it; go to university and take parts of my life now with me )':

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