These are some Life Rules of my own (:

1. When you laugh, don’t ever think about what your face looks like. Laugh freely and unashamedly.

2. Don’t go out of your way to catch the clock at 11.11. But if you happen to do so, always make a wish; just in case.

3. When hugging a close friend, give them a little squeeze before you break the hug. This will make you both feel warm and fuzzy.

4. Wish you did something differently? Don’t dwell on it. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t regret it. Just don’t do it next time.

5. Give the people you love handwritten letters.

6. Take hundreds upon thousands of photos.

7. Never become too cool to still love the things you loved as a child.

8. Make sure your favourite people know they’re your favourite people.

9. Before you go to sleep at night think about happy and funny memories. Grin into the darkness. Laugh into your pillow. It’s impossible to have bad dreams then.

10. Never eat pizza with cutlery.

I draw a very fine line between being patronised and being looked after.

I absolutely detest the former. I would tenfold rather someone was harsh, honest and blunt than patronising. I do not want to be told 9/15 in my Theatre Studies exam is "over half so it's good". I don't care if that person is trying to make me feel better; it's just irritating.

The latter however, I love. I like knowing someone cares. I don't want to be told it will all be ok when it clearly won't. But I want someone there to talk to me about how things aren't always ok and to tell me what I should do and to make sure I don't ruin what I have and to be honest with me all the time.

Joe says: (23:53:31)
ok srsly
Joe says: (23:53:32)
bed
Joe says: (23:53:33)
or else

I kind of didn't do what Joe said because I'm still here. But he's amazing and I wanted to tell you all. He's been there for me so much this week especially. And plus I doubt he'll read this so I won't have to listen to listen to him tell me off for being too cheesy (': But I thought you should all know that the sort of best friends people have in films, well I have one of them. I'm lucky.

Skiing and Boys Like Girls

Ski trip on Friday.
It's so BIZARRE!

Me and Sarah made a somewhat spontaneous YES LET'S DO IT! decision in 2006 to go on the ski trip in 2007 and it turned out to be amazing so we dragged our whole friendship group back in 2008, I dragged a different load of friends out in 2009 and this year I'm going with even more different people.

It's weird because this is my 4th time feeling the Ski Trip In A Few Days anticipation that I've grown used to, and I'm still not desensitised to it. I'm just as excited as I was this time 4 years ago.

Unfortunately, it does have a bittersweet element.

I'm missing a Boys Like Girls gig because of it. Except it's MORE than just a concert, it's a THING. By a THING, I mean you know how with your best friend you have little THINGS that like, define your friendship, in-jokes, joint obsessions, just special THINGS. Boys Like Girls is me and Joe's thing. For a year we hypothesised and made up little stories of What Will Happen When We Next See Them. You know, how we're going to get backstage passes, meet the band, get photos with them, etc etc. Except Joe's doing all that without me. Because he DID manage to get a VIP ticket. So he IS going backstage, he IS meeting the band and he IS getting photos with them. Everything we've been joking about how we wish it would happen is actually going to happen to him. I so badly wish I could be there. I get this sinky feeling in my tummy when I think that he'll be there without me. Of course I'm still excited and thrilled to be going skiing, but it just seems so unfair that I should have to miss BLG.

C'est la vie.

Essex.

I have such an aversion to Essex. Not so much its geographical location; it's coastal, on the brink of London and pretty much completely flat. But the connotations that come with Essex and unfortunately, the perfectly accurate stereotypes. Obviously I realise that every town EVERYWHERE has elements of the shit that comes with Essex, but as I've only ever lived here I can't really draw many comparisons. But I have visited towns over the whole of the UK and I can safely, 100% say that EVERYWHERE seems nicer than here. I was in Lakeside (big shopping center) with a couple of friends yesterday and two occurrences occurred that just made me think WHAT THE ACTUAL FUG. Firstly, us three were walking out of a shop and crossing opposite to go to the one facing us. But alas, we were held up by a pack of literally over 10 CHAVS (I am not a fan of labels but if you have a better way to describe people in hideous tracksuits, fake designer brands, too much gold jewellery and baseball caps indoors then I would like to know it) who were walking past us. So obviously we stopped. And I was like -_- because honestly it was like we needed our own zebra crossing. Because they kept coming and coming and coming. Now these people might have been lovely as individuals, but the sight of this huge mob of them was just sickening. They don't look around when they travel, they look ahead with total disregard to those around them, as if they think they own Essex. Sadly, they do own Essex. The second incident was one that Ross pointed out to me. It was a small boy on a mobile (probably around 14) and he was saying "Yeah she was gonna have an abortion but they said she already had the baby in her for two months so now she can't!" Honestly. I despair of my county.

If there is anyone out there who is from Essex and actually proud/not bothered/happy with this, please teach me how you do it. Because being from here makes me sick.

So there's this town like half an hour from where I live and about 10 minutes from my school.

I've had friends living in this town for 7 years.

At last, at the age of 18, I have finally learnt how to navigate my way to and from this town using public transport all by myself :D

F.M.L.

I'm a sucker for initialisms.

I hate it when people say to me "OhmyGOD please don't tell me you just actually SAID "lol" out loud!" I'm just like "Okay, I won't tell you that..."

I hate school. I hate A levels. I hate the concept of future. I love the concept of future. I hate most of the people I know. I love my little bubble of people I love.

I realised something so fugging ANNOYING today. I was pondering over exactly why I have so many subscribers and so few views on all of my more recent videos. And then it clicked. It took me years to hit 1000. Over two and a half years. People who have got 500 subscribers in a year are going to get that many views because the people are still there. A lot of my subscribers are from many moons ago and they don't actually give a flying fart in space about AccioJellyBean anymore. I need to have a subscriber boom in the space of a few months so that I actually HAVE people watching my videos. Because let's face it, subscribers are impressive in theory but if they get bored of you then what's the point?

Pixie Lott performed at my school today.

http://itn.co.uk/10ea0b399322358a10e7bc0ab0e6bbd7.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1248806/Thanks-Lott-Pixie-students-home-town-music-lesson-form-free-gig.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/essex/hi/people_and_places/arts_and_culture/newsid_8501000/8501102.stm

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Showbiz-News/Pixie-Lott-Brits-Nominated-Singer-Gives-Music-lesson-In-Local-School-In-Brentwood-Essex/Article/201002115543255?lpos=Showbiz_News_Third_UK_News_Article_Teaser_Region__9&lid=ARTICLE_15543255_Pixie_Lott%3A_Brits_Nominated_Singer_Gives_Music_lesson_In_Local_School_In_Brentwood%2C_Essex

Was good (: