Skiing and Boys Like Girls

Ski trip on Friday.
It's so BIZARRE!

Me and Sarah made a somewhat spontaneous YES LET'S DO IT! decision in 2006 to go on the ski trip in 2007 and it turned out to be amazing so we dragged our whole friendship group back in 2008, I dragged a different load of friends out in 2009 and this year I'm going with even more different people.

It's weird because this is my 4th time feeling the Ski Trip In A Few Days anticipation that I've grown used to, and I'm still not desensitised to it. I'm just as excited as I was this time 4 years ago.

Unfortunately, it does have a bittersweet element.

I'm missing a Boys Like Girls gig because of it. Except it's MORE than just a concert, it's a THING. By a THING, I mean you know how with your best friend you have little THINGS that like, define your friendship, in-jokes, joint obsessions, just special THINGS. Boys Like Girls is me and Joe's thing. For a year we hypothesised and made up little stories of What Will Happen When We Next See Them. You know, how we're going to get backstage passes, meet the band, get photos with them, etc etc. Except Joe's doing all that without me. Because he DID manage to get a VIP ticket. So he IS going backstage, he IS meeting the band and he IS getting photos with them. Everything we've been joking about how we wish it would happen is actually going to happen to him. I so badly wish I could be there. I get this sinky feeling in my tummy when I think that he'll be there without me. Of course I'm still excited and thrilled to be going skiing, but it just seems so unfair that I should have to miss BLG.

C'est la vie.

Essex.

I have such an aversion to Essex. Not so much its geographical location; it's coastal, on the brink of London and pretty much completely flat. But the connotations that come with Essex and unfortunately, the perfectly accurate stereotypes. Obviously I realise that every town EVERYWHERE has elements of the shit that comes with Essex, but as I've only ever lived here I can't really draw many comparisons. But I have visited towns over the whole of the UK and I can safely, 100% say that EVERYWHERE seems nicer than here. I was in Lakeside (big shopping center) with a couple of friends yesterday and two occurrences occurred that just made me think WHAT THE ACTUAL FUG. Firstly, us three were walking out of a shop and crossing opposite to go to the one facing us. But alas, we were held up by a pack of literally over 10 CHAVS (I am not a fan of labels but if you have a better way to describe people in hideous tracksuits, fake designer brands, too much gold jewellery and baseball caps indoors then I would like to know it) who were walking past us. So obviously we stopped. And I was like -_- because honestly it was like we needed our own zebra crossing. Because they kept coming and coming and coming. Now these people might have been lovely as individuals, but the sight of this huge mob of them was just sickening. They don't look around when they travel, they look ahead with total disregard to those around them, as if they think they own Essex. Sadly, they do own Essex. The second incident was one that Ross pointed out to me. It was a small boy on a mobile (probably around 14) and he was saying "Yeah she was gonna have an abortion but they said she already had the baby in her for two months so now she can't!" Honestly. I despair of my county.

If there is anyone out there who is from Essex and actually proud/not bothered/happy with this, please teach me how you do it. Because being from here makes me sick.

So there's this town like half an hour from where I live and about 10 minutes from my school.

I've had friends living in this town for 7 years.

At last, at the age of 18, I have finally learnt how to navigate my way to and from this town using public transport all by myself :D

F.M.L.

I'm a sucker for initialisms.

I hate it when people say to me "OhmyGOD please don't tell me you just actually SAID "lol" out loud!" I'm just like "Okay, I won't tell you that..."

I hate school. I hate A levels. I hate the concept of future. I love the concept of future. I hate most of the people I know. I love my little bubble of people I love.

I realised something so fugging ANNOYING today. I was pondering over exactly why I have so many subscribers and so few views on all of my more recent videos. And then it clicked. It took me years to hit 1000. Over two and a half years. People who have got 500 subscribers in a year are going to get that many views because the people are still there. A lot of my subscribers are from many moons ago and they don't actually give a flying fart in space about AccioJellyBean anymore. I need to have a subscriber boom in the space of a few months so that I actually HAVE people watching my videos. Because let's face it, subscribers are impressive in theory but if they get bored of you then what's the point?

Pixie Lott performed at my school today.

http://itn.co.uk/10ea0b399322358a10e7bc0ab0e6bbd7.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1248806/Thanks-Lott-Pixie-students-home-town-music-lesson-form-free-gig.html

http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/essex/hi/people_and_places/arts_and_culture/newsid_8501000/8501102.stm

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Showbiz-News/Pixie-Lott-Brits-Nominated-Singer-Gives-Music-lesson-In-Local-School-In-Brentwood-Essex/Article/201002115543255?lpos=Showbiz_News_Third_UK_News_Article_Teaser_Region__9&lid=ARTICLE_15543255_Pixie_Lott%3A_Brits_Nominated_Singer_Gives_Music_lesson_In_Local_School_In_Brentwood%2C_Essex

Was good (:

I'm getting incredibly bored of the monotonous process my brain partakes in every day of my life; I want to do this with my life. No actually, I want to do that with my life. Nope, for REAL I want to do THIS with my life. Over and over and over and over. All day and all night.

Theatre Studies.

January was so good. I had some amazing times:
*New Year
*Young Americans
*Weekend with Joe & Ross
*Toby Carvery
See, pretty much every weekend in January was perfect.

I'm two (three technically) days into February. I spent the 1st and 2nd at one of the top ten universities in the country doing an interview, workshop and devised piece. I beat around 400 people to get to even this stage of the admissions process, so even if I don't get an offer I will still be proud of myself. But yesterday during the devised piece I really questioned Theatre Studies A Level. It's definitely my favourite subject, I really enjoy it and always have done. But seeing the devised pieces of 8 groups of students from all over the UK with potentially NOTHING in common aside from studying Theatre Studies A Level made me feel very off about it. Everyone's work was totally different. But everyone's work was SO similar. Yes we were asked to pull in techniques we learnt in the workshops on Monday so obviously some similarities were inevitable. But it was all so...unvaried. I love drama. But I want to be doing something totally different with it. I'm absolutely grateful that I have the skills that I have and I wouldn't change that for anything. But do I want to go on to university to do another three years of being taught things the way the structure says they have to be taught? I don't think I do. I want to take what I know already and build upon it in my own way. I want to take my YouTube channel places using the transferable skills like communication, vocal techniques, characterisation and eloquence that I learnt during Theatre Studies A Level. I want to take it from here by myself. Even if it's just for a year so that I can experiment. Maybe one day in the future I'll want to study Drama again; I'm sure I will. Because I love it. But I need a break to do my own thing with it. What I'm going to do with it, who knows? I have ideas.