Au revoir youth.

Today is my last day as a child.
I find it very disconcerting and sad that most of us are adults for the majority of our lives. It just seems unfair. The best feeling ever, in my opinion, is having no worries. And I think I can safely say that I haven't had that feeling, pure and unadulterated, since I was about 5. So why do we have to grow up so fast? It's absolutely unjust.

I want the best of both worlds. I want to go to university and get a job and live away from my parents and be independent. But I want to stay a child. I never wanted to even be 16, so you can imagine how horrible it feels knowing that tomorrow I'm going to be 18. Nearly two decades. Old.

I'm going to try really hard to make the most of today.

I like Stacey Solomon as much as the next person, but if she thinks that I'm going to vote for her just because she was in my Hebrew class 10 years ago, she's got another think coming.

I never want to forget yesterday.

Yesterday was the first REAL payday for me, Aimee and Charlie, so after school we all went down the high street together to check our bank balances. We went to the cash point and one by one we put in our cards, punched in our PIN numbers and pressed "Display balance". After we had all seen the numbers on the screen, we were jumping up and down hugging and screaming in the middle of the high street, and it was such a lovely moment. It was a moment where I suddenly felt really independent, and ironically, it was made perfect by the fact that I was sharing the independence with two of my best friends. After we had calmed down we went into Starbucks. We were sitting in there drinking our coffees and suddenly our friend Kate walked in. She came up to our table, and with a massive grin, said, "I JUST GOT MY FIRST PAY CHEQUE!!!!!!!" So Kate joined us and we all sat in Starbucks together revelling in the fact that we are all employed and all pretty happy with how things are going. It was a really amazing time.

I love you Aimee, Charlie and Kate xxx

I'm not one for negatively judging people without merit to do so, because I do not like that being done to me. But it has to be said, some people are just too embarrassing to live on this planet. Anyone who makes me look cool is too embarrassing for this planet.

Something that is annoying me.

Fangirls. Or boys. Whatever. I mean, people fangirling over ME?!?! Seriously, anyone who has that sort of view of me from my YouTube videos needs to sort it out. Fangirl over someone who actually DOES something. Fangirl over Dave Blueskies who writes music or Smosh who make comedies or John and Hank who created a whole community of their own. Do not fangirl over me. I talk to my camera. I don't attempt to make people laugh or display a talent, I JUST TALK TO MY CAMERA. "I'm starstruck that you replied to my comment" Why would anyone be starstruck that I replied to them? I go to school, I have a job, I go on the internet. It's not like I'm doing anything meaningful with my life which would stop me from having the time to reply to comments. I DO NOT DO ANYTHING SPECIAL. I do not want people leaving me "witty" messages thinking that they need to impress me because I'm on YouTube and have more than 30 subscribers and I won't be their friend unless they sound "cool". I do not behave any different on my vlogs as I do in my day to day life. I do not want fans. I like that people watch my videos but I do NOT WANT FANS. It's so frustrating. If you watch my videos and get all hyped up about one day meeting me "IRL" then you're gonna be disappointed, because I don't do anything special or exceptional. I just want people to watch my videos and be able to relate to me and I want to make friends.

Irena Sendler

There recently was a death of a 98 year-old lady named Irena. During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an 'ulterior motive' ... She KNEW what the Nazi's plans were for the Jews, (being German.) Irena smuggled infants out in the bottom of the tool box she carried and she carried in the back of her truck a burlap sack, (for larger kids..) She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers of course wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.. During her time of doing this, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. She was caught, and the Nazi's broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and kept them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she tried to locate any parents that may have survived it and reunited the family. Most had been gassed. Those kids she helped got placed into foster family homes or adopted.

Last year Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize ..... She was not selected.


Al Gore won, for a slide show on Global Warming.

I'll start up blogging again when things have stopped being crap.

Because if I get all bloggy on you now then I'll just be inflicting my fail of a life onto you all and none of you deserve that, as I'm sure you all have your own problems to deal with.